Araw-Araw Sa Buhay ng Isang "He-Bitch"

Just so you know..

2010-03-17T18:58:00.000-05:00

I created a more formal blog...

www.justin-finite.blogspot.com

FUCK YOU MULTIPLE CHOICE! FUCK YOU to a point you wont be able to get up!

2009-11-05T20:37:00.002-06:00

In a multiple choice kind of question, there 5 choices, a 20% chance of getting the right answer. Those five choice though were pretty similar to each other to a point where you would be deifnitely confused of what to pick. FUCK YOU MULTIPLE CHOICE, FUCK YOU! YOU TOTALLY SCREW ME UP.

How could you be so heartless?

2009-10-01T20:52:00.002-05:00

Case: An average 1st year university student on a 2nd year elective class. Most of his classmates are already on their 2nd year or 3rd year in university and are already majoring on their chosen profession. He is clueless and left behind while in class, while everybody's understanding on the matter being discussed is clear enough for them. The frosh student also realize how superficial these business people are, attending socials for "networking" purposes, covering up their simplicity to belong, in other words, heartless. What does the freshman need to do?

Option 1: Drop the course. It's just an elective anyways. totally could take in next year.

Option2: try harder and harder until set goal is achieved.

or

Option3: Suck up the fact that your a frosh. be humble and just step up your game next year and shine. like you always do.

I took option 3. LOL. im too lazy, tired and stressed. Whatevs.

Philippines...

2009-09-27T21:07:00.001-05:00

Und jeder wird sich von der tragodie erheben

And for you Jacque Bermejo.
Schadenfreude is not for everybody.

In order to get a Bachelor's degree.

2009-09-23T22:41:00.001-05:00

You need...

* A pocket full of determination
* Common sense
* Money

and..

* Shot shot shot shot!SHOT-SHOT! shot shot shot!

psh. Finally! I've been adjusting, whining, complaining and bearing the new and improved system of education, well at least for me. So far, i feel that I could not bear it, I feel that everything is gibberish, I feel that i have to learn the university language right away or id be left out, sad it is but fuck that! Im gonna do this.

I almost.... ALMOST drop out of school when i realized how expensive it is. Add the scary thought that i might fail my subjects. UGH. everything is just so different. I guess everyone doesnt really want changes huh?

Changes and things.

2009-09-05T23:03:00.002-05:00

At exactly 12 hours from now, we will be moving to another house. A new chapter for our life away from "home." I miss pinas, I miss tricycles, I miss san jose, i miss my batchmates and all those shiets. A lot has happened ever since i moved to this foreign land. including me and my maturity. I still remember arguing with my best-friend and english teacher of how I could and would sustain my childish beliefs and naive acts.

One reason I am kinda sad is i feel like i have been detaching myself from my family ever since i started working. No more 1-1 talks and movies with my mom or even bonding moments with my dad and borthers, well, we do that from time to time but it is not the same. If i were to make a scale of how often i see my parents, you would really see how much i miss them and never got the time to even be with them. All of us three works for a living and the only time we really get a hold of each other is when somebody arrives, greets and kiss the family member or the 2 meters away from each other while watching our favorite tv show. I guess absence makes love grow fonder. Im just happy and lucky enough that my family is still going strong amidst all of these bull.

At exactly 60 hours from now, I will be entering the halls of University of Manitoba. A lot has been saying that it is not the same as highschool anymore, less studying time and i need more focus. Add the fact that I am working part time, with late night shifts. Good thing I remain optimistic and my mind is set to hooking up and partying, graduating is just second on my priority list. LOL. im just kidding, of course I want to graduate. Fuck all those high tuition fees and over expensive books. Thank God for scholarships. :)

Justin's 1000 BFF

2009-08-08T02:43:00.002-05:00

So the 2nd season of Paris Hilton's my new BFF has ended. Hooray! I honestly enjoyed watching the series, drama served as one very good reason why I finished watching all episodes, not including hidden features for there was none. I actually find it stupid, and on tv, stupidity equals comic relief. Who would ever create a reality show just to replace her best friend who lie-lowed just to straighten up her life? chenan! none other than, the heiress to the 360 billion dollar Hilton treasures, Ms. Paris Hilton. LOL. i feel foolish saying that. haha. stupid it is. period.

How many bestfriends do I have? Honestly, I see the BEST in every friend I ever had, I may not look like that but yeaups, I could easily meet the BFF standards every person has on their checklist. And that's why I remain single. LOL. everybody thinks im such a BFF material that they would rather have me as a friend than a boyfriend, believe me, it has happened a couple of times. LOL.

I never talk to those guys ever again, why? coz i feel rejected which comes to a theory of mine. i believe that guys shouldnt be bestfriends, haha! we could be friends! :) just not bestfriends. geebuz, i sounded like Paris Hilton for a moment there. anyway, which made me think again, who would be my best man on my wedding day? not my brothers, i dont even see my family attending a gay wedding. haha. i was planning to spice it up and make my best man a girl, replacing the traditionally called best man into a best flower girl. that way i could save money. LOL.

i find this non sense. I bet some of you can't even find this.

Unfortunately

2009-07-15T23:48:00.003-05:00

laugh when you fall down. :)

I get the word unfortunately nowadays,

Unfortunately,

you werent one of the chosen,
you dont meet our criteria
your standards are too high for this position,
too good for me.

PSHH.. same old shit.

Been hearing bad news from all scholarship grants, unfortunately they think i dont deserve any scholarships. LOL

which made me conclude ot a theory that i shouldnt have been wearing nice and sharp clothes during scholarship interviews coz they will think im rich or sumthin.
LOL funny.

anyway, yea. i feel mediocre. psshh

The world's greatest.

2009-06-29T21:18:00.002-05:00

So it's been awhile since i blogged again and I have lots to tell you people!
So i broke up with the guy that i've been telling you guys about in my last post, but im not gonna talk about that coz that's plain boring! LOL

I just graduated last week and im gonna freakin brag about all the things I did!

I love how I graduated last week with flying colors.
-PS it's not rainbow. :P

I love how I won 2 awards
- Maples Collegiate Excellence In Leadership Award
- and the Manitoba Council for International Cooperation- Global Citizenship Award.

I love how I am still waiting for 3 more scholarship grants.

I love how half of my university will be payed by scholarship grants and awards.

I love how I got 73 in precal! LOL (that's more than what i expected)

I love how I got 100 in our English Transactional class.

I love how it's summer and i have all the time for myself.

I love how i am single and free!

I love how i have trustworthy friends

and I AM SO FREAKIN EXCITED FOR UNIVERSITY ALREADY!!

yikess.. yes. im a big braggart but who cares?this is my blog. just be happy and proud for me! haha! :P

It's summer again and i am so excited about it, i would be driving soon and i just think that's hot! :)

im very broke though.. i have no money!!!! so im accepting bookings ASAP! LOL. ;)

Coutin all the blessings- disi ocho nako!

2009-04-17T23:21:00.005-05:00

1. HUN. HUN. HUN! :) nuff said. :0 im in love! :)

2. Good marks. cept for pre-cal. i got 68 on that course. thanks to ms. arnason she adjusted it to 68, my mark was supposed to be 67 but she turned it 68 so i could meet #3!

3. I gots an entrance scholarship in University of Manitoba, :D you need to get an average of 85 to get money, but because of my suck-y precal marks, i got an average of 84.8. LOL. just .2 away from the scholarship, so i talked to Ms. Arnason and asked her if she could adjust my marks. and so she did! :)

4. I gots an interview for the "anak liwayway scholarship" which will be this sunday. it's a scholarship offered to fil-canadian youth leaders, and guess what? they consider me as one of em! :)

5. I gots a new job! i got tired of the answering service and applied as one of the cast members at silver city! i just grew tired of freakin answering calls together with the older people and i thought i need to gain some new experience aside from a call center one. yikees! im cite! :)

6. Im going to ontario! YMCA EXHANGE! HERE I COME!

7. I gots a role for spring prod!

8. i gots a role for arts in the park.

9. i have lots of loving and understanding friends!

10. i've gots hunned!

11. i dont have any enemies (well, i think!)

12. My family is sooooo strong!

13. im just kinda broke-ish. LOL

14. GRAD FASHION SHOW IS SOON!

15. i am still healthy, gorgeous and smart! :P

16. uhhhmmm.. I still breathe?

17. I still eat 3x a day and i love it. or actually 1 time lng pero a very big meal! :P

18. and agen.. i gots, my hun, God by my side, family and friends! LOVES IT!

2009 is my year. and i hope 2010 will be too and the next years to come! i love it! thank you God! really!!! for everything you're giving to me these days.. i just hope you continue it.. :) love you GOd! :)

my post birthday post.! :D

2009-04-11T15:39:00.001-05:00

okay.. it has been 2 days since my 18th!!
i just want to say thank you soooooo much to everyone who made my day so special..
you guys dont know how a simple birthday greet made my day. :)

of course special mention to my TGIS..
to maples SC family and judy, jamoi and dianne! :)

love them lots..

I also want to thank GOD for giving me the 18 years of breathing..
of ups and downs..
of ALL the blessings he gave to me these past few days...
MY UOM ENTRANCE SCHOLARSHIP!! my good marks, my loving family, my loving friends, and of course.. i thank him for giving you TO ME! :)

yikesss.. that's too much to contain for a short period of time..
yikeee!! anyway... ill be flying to ontario soon for a week and id be hella missing peg city!! yikes.. LOVE LOTS!! :)

thanks again guys! :)

And then i say it again..

2009-04-06T08:17:00.002-05:00

Aside from the fact that i made a very drastic post last night...
I WOULD MAKE A NEW ONE.. :)

I maybe am really serious... AND I LOVE IT...
Nothing to worry about...
I've felt new... I've felt soooo much better...
ANd i've never felt something strong like this ever since...
And i'm doing it again..
I'm willing to risk...
I'm willing to fall...
I'm willing to get hurt...
And I'm willing to surrender...
It happened wayyy so fast
but i guess that just how it is...
That makes it not stand out from the norm this world has been used to...
Maybe that's why that word is not made a 20 million letter word..
Coz when you feel it, you feel it...

And again...
I want to SHOUT..
I want to see you..
I'm excited...
and I FEEL SO GREAT ABOUT IT..

oh gahd guys..
I AM SO HUNN-ED... :)

I say..

2009-04-05T22:51:00.002-05:00

Im being too serious... wayy too serious...
I forgot how life is a freakin party...
PARTY..
nothin much serious.. except ALCOHOL and you being DRUNK which is bull..

stop being serious justin.. stop it..
you're forgetting yourself again.. you slutty, little he-bitch! :P

the justin that i am

2009-03-29T00:07:00.002-05:00

I've been worrying too much about things lately.
And I've forgotten the Justin that i am.
People do change, life comes and goes, life is short, that's just how reality bites.

Who is Justin?

Someone who doesnt care as long as he is NOT hurting anyone,
straight forward, no bull, no shit, PLAIN HONESTY.

where did that go?

I've been thinking about what will others say about me lately...
I care too much about what other people think or will be thinking...
which makes my life calculated, boring and predictable.

I've always loved life,
i make sure im having fun EVERY SINGLE MOMENT...

And after banging my head against the wall...
after everything that happened..
JUSTIN IS ALIVE AGAIN...

id try to bring back the justin that i am..
it's for the better and im loving it. :)

NOOOOO!!

2009-03-24T22:28:00.002-05:00

I dont feel like myself.

Everything seems falling apart, i feel secluded, demented, different and all over the place. From academics to extarcurricular activites, i feel like shit, i feel useless, i feel dumb and i feel empty.

I always say that i want my life to be balanced, but no can do these days, everything just seems to sacrifice... UGH. i hate it. it sucks BIG TIME.

I'm failing my pre-cal course, fukk, im hella getting a 50 on that subject, lucky enough to get a 60. and that is enough for me not to get an entrance scholarship for my desired university. FUKK. i hate it. i feel so dumb.

I freakin had lots of things to do in school and i keep on procrastinating, i hafta sell 50/50 draw tix to teachers which is happening this friday but i havent sold a single one, how crappy was that? and the teacher will surely rub it on your face if you wont sell anything. FUKKKKKKK..

how i wish i could withdraw, how i wish i could hide, how i wish i could just LEAVE everything behind. how i wish i could find myself back, i wish.... :(

A lot of people say...

2009-03-22T18:35:00.002-05:00

That when it rains... it pours..

Have you ever experienced having a problem and having another one on top of that?
LOL..

the only thing that could amplify a problem leading to another problem is..

stupidity..

and that's what you are. STUPID!
SCReAMING S-T-U-P-I-D

luckily im thinking... or maybe im not?

hide

2009-03-21T21:27:00.002-05:00

it's +4 outside and when your in winnipeg, that is really nice. but where am i?
in front of the computer with my headset on, answering stupid people questions.

I also have 2 essays to finish and a lot of movies to watch...
talk about having no life...
yes people i'd be hibernating in the next few days...
not that im afraid of the sun... just that i have to. :(

Playing fate

2009-03-20T22:43:00.003-05:00

What if we could play and rewind our memories? it would be fun, but very sad.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind is a moving story, on of those love stories with a twist but could certainly knock you off your feet. just sharing. nothing serious.

just wondering if we have something in this world that could delete our memories, those bad memories. that would be handy.

BUSY BUSY BUSY!

2009-03-16T21:49:00.004-05:00

I went to school for auditions last friday for the school spring production "1984" by george orwell, and guess what?

Search my name. ;)

yeaup. I got in. A role with no name though, just 10 roles after the lead, LOOOOL! it's very timely though, for i'd be going to ontario april21-28 for the YMCA student exchange so id miss practices, and that role just suits my schedule these days which has been busy!! fkk, and im failing pre-cal as always! LOL. id prolly work it from the latter part of the year, there are still more exciting stuff going on and will be going on and i should be thankful enough for those stuff.

Aside from being VEEEERRRYYY busy, i still manage to maintain my social status(LOL), my "not-so-good-but-not-failing" marks, my good side, my party animal side and most of all, my family aspect of life. i dont know how i do it but, it's fun, frealz. :)

go figure

2009-03-09T23:21:00.003-05:00

I dont need to take my clothes off just for me too look sexy,
I need not to stick out my tongue just for people to call me hot,
and i dont need to be a G just to say im cool,
all i need is your camera and my posing skills. LOL

*the picture above is a project from my transactional english course,
we were asked to make a magazine of ourselves. so who could be a better cover than yourself right? :)

Seperating realism from idealism.

2009-02-26T00:50:00.005-06:00

There are the allies, and the opposition, the pro and cons, the winners and the losers, those who would agree and those who would not, the traditionalists and the LGTB team, the good and the bad. All are actually equal, all has their sides and opinions, just depends on where we'd stand.

Lately I have been realizing so much stuff, I've been to idealistic, i've been very calculated, every move, every step, I've somewhat predicted or planned that, I somewhat knew what would be the outcome, of what will happen. NO, im no fortune teller, i hold no powers, but i do hold logic.

A lot of times, I've said to people, i hate losing, i'd rather quit than lose, for in that case i could say, i didnt get to do anything to make something or someone a failure, I never quit without even fighting though, how do I see if i still have the chance? LOGIC, i balance what do i have, what are my skills, stuff like that and see if i have a big chance of succeeding. wait, im digressing.

If you are a very close person to me, you probably do know that i wnat to change the world, i want to open people's minds into something foreign to them, something unknown, something unheard, i want to make people understand perhaps, my beliefs, and most of the people's beliefs. Showing them is possible, but making them understand, not happening.

I've taught of so much crazy ideas of starting a thing for the world to be a better place, someday, i want to be a national artist, so i could show the whole world what they can't see through films, i want to be a good will ambassador, so everyone would listen, a lot says it's idealistic, hence, it COULD meet what's real.

Living in a very diverse country is mind boggling, poverty, racism, human rights, it all shows. Im doing A LOT of movements to promote equality considering my schedule as a student, but what im doing now is not enough, i do have a big expectation from myself, i want to make a difference, i want to be someone who's controversial, i want to be somebody, not only for myself, but for my will to show and make the world understand of what I think they should understand. but then again, im being idealistic. Why cant i just focus on myself and to those things i could reach. I have no IDEA.

All i know, the world is pretty much balanced, there will be the good and the bad. The good will remain good, and the bad will only amplify the ecstacy of being good, that's how the world turns, that's how idealism touches and that's how reality bites.

the art of realism

2009-02-21T21:37:00.003-06:00

I always perceived life life as PERFECT, oh not perceived, i DREAM about life being perfect, i guess the left side of my brain has always been working since i was born, imagery and pictures of a perfect life has been resting in my central nervous system since i started breathing. I love life, but into what extent? What is life anyways?

I have always been the person who people label as a perfectionist, perfectionist in terms of working, for for all i know, i am indeed hard working and i do know how to have fun, i want EVERYTHING balanced, happy, and could actually get something productive from what we are doing. so far, most of the things i've done is successful, but not balanced. I've started to shut my mouth and suck it up, just to see that everything looks balanced, they jsut dont know, im the one who's suffering.

I've always been a failure before, i was never this LEADER people see, practice makes perfect, but then again, nobody's perfect, therefore, why practice? PUTEK ANG KORNY KO! singit lang un, line from ang tanging ina niyong lahat LOL.

this actually doesnt makes sense. bottom line, im not a perfectionist, or maybe i am? tell me..

what do you see... :( iunno. i just feel empty, tis days, or maybe just today.. maybe i should start looking for myself again. did i actually lost myself? did i? or maybe i havent really found myself. all i know, im happy and im not hurting anyone. FKK.. i hate it. this post is full of I's, i hafta stop being conceited, i talk regarding my self too much. pft..

photocredit to ms. cielo caldeo and mr. aris aguila. lol. pormal pormalan. LOL :)

IM VERY SORRY BLOG!

2009-02-18T20:17:00.001-06:00

FKK FKKK FKKKKK! SORR BLOG! I was wayy tooooo busy these past few day that i totally forgot about your birthday! :(

i know blog that you do understand.. you do know all what i'm getting through these days right? LOVE YOU LOTS BLOG and...

HAPPY BOITDEI! :)

Things I got from TAS

2009-01-30T00:22:00.010-06:00

TAS= the answering service.

so i have been talking about my job on my blog for a while now and i've been ranting on it since ages, well actually people, i love my job, it is boring yes but it's a great experience for future references plus, i've learned a lot. so here will be 5 things that i've learned and mastered from my job. who knows? I frequently use these skills from a day to day basis, sorry, can't help it. :P

5. LYING.

**being an after hours answering service, the things that we could do are pretty much limited, so we actually cover them up with lies, white lies just to resolve the problem. there will be a lot of times that people would be calling because they need prescription, we would say that doctors doesn't take prescriptions during after hours, they'll hang up. Doctors actually take prescriptions during after hours, well some of them don't, we are just scared because prescription calls are considered not urgent. well, they have all the time to do shit in the morning and they'd disturb a sleeping doctor after hours? how stupid is that...

4. FLUENT ENGLISH, SLANG ACCENT AND TALKING FAST.

** it's BA-EG not BAAAG for bag! it's KUR-ENN not CUR-TEYN for curtain! it's HEED-ING not HIT-ING for heating! and it's definitely not UH-HUH, it's simply YES or just OKAY! things that i've learned and have been used to when i started working in TAS, this has helped me into EVERYDAY living in this foreign country, this made me look like a pro(in which im not) in english speaking though i jsut moved here a year a go, i still find myself uttering at times but the speed of me talking is reasonable enough for people to understand what am i trying to say. these things, i've practiced and made perfect into 8hrs of answering phones and assisting people.

3. BEING UPDATED WITH CURRENT EVENTS

** I just wrote a blog about death and how i got scared from it, there you go, a perfect example, of course we answer calls from real people in real time, i've been able to talk WITH different kinds of people, from irate callers to people who can't speak english, name it, i've dealt with them. just earlier, i answered the phone from one of our lines, guess who called? my mom, i guess there was a major damage from her workplace and she's bothering mine! LOL

2. STABLE UNDER PRESSURE

** during peak times, like 4pm, when all offices closes, there will be those people who would not know that the office is already closed, all we do is we advice them that the office is already close and they should call back when the office is open, easy huh? NOT! TRY ANSWERING 2 PHONES AT THE SAME TIME! im not finished, add the pressure of system waits and callers waiting to get accommodated, it will be like hell, there will be times that in my whole shift, i never stopped talking. but then, this has taught me on how to handle on the go situations, besides, id be on the go once i step into university and i'd be handling not only calls but real customers!

1. PATIENCE

** that is the number one thing that i've mastered from TAS, from love to life, name it, any situation, i could handle it PATIENTLY, let's admit, people do change, i actually get kinda grumpy when people asks me to wait, but it looks like when i started working @ TAS, i'v learned to settle down. well hey, being single is one too! i've been patiently waiting for the right time and the right person, coz I don't wanna mess up like in answering calls, when you let people get into your nerves, you'll just mess up and cause trouble. so, i really appreciate all those people who are impatient and needs our service and all those stupid people who seems to lack common sense and jsut needs advice or someone to talk to, thanks to them, i became who i am now, someone who just sucks it up though a situation is really fukkd up. add the crappy attitudes of some of our employees.

i'm not quitting, i love my job and it pays me well, and im not lying, though the job is really boring... i just love it. :)

Toothbrush

2009-01-24T19:36:00.024-06:00

Halos pamukha mo sa akin na wala na tayong pag-asa,
una, kakakilala mo pa lang sa akin at naging tayo na,
hindi ka pa nakakarecover ng todo dun sa gago mong ex.
Umalis ako ng bansa, sabi natin sa isa't isa, go! go! go! lang tayo sa relasyong ito...
pero hindi nagtagal, nagmakaawa sayo ang ex mo, babalikan ka nya, magbabago sya, naniwala ka naman, sinaktan mo ko.

After some months of on and off, naging okay tayo, binaliwala ko ang mga nangyare, ang sabi mo wag na natin pagusapang ang nakaaraan, alam ko nmng sinabi mo lng yun sa dahilan na ako ang agrabyado, ikaw ang nanggago at ayaw mong ibalik yung mga ginawa mo. Um-oo ako, sabi ko sige, kasi mahal kita.

Natatakot ako sa totoo lang, baka gawin mo ulit ang mga kasinungalingan mo nuon, yung ex mong gago, yung gabing sinabi mo sa akin na may leukemia ka at yung mga panahong pinaasa mo ako na matutuloi ka na sa pagsunod mo sa akin dito, natatakot ako sa pagkasinungaling mo, kaya gumawa ako ng imaginary friends, sabi ko sayo, marami akong kaM.U. dito, mga hearthrob, para lalo mong marealize na isa akong malaking kawalan.

Marami pa akong kasinungalingan sayo, katulad ng mga imaginary ex's ko, na hindi nako virgin, na nagkagirlfriend din ako before, lahat yung sinabi ko lng syo para malaman mo na hindi ikaw ang buhay ko, masyado ka kasing kampante, ang yabang yabang mo, tinatrato mo na parang wala lang syao kung mawala ako.

Nung gabing sinabi ko lahat sayo yun, galit na galit ka, natameme na lang ako, ayaw na kita sagutin, sabi ko tama na, masyado nako nahihirapan, pero ginamitan mo nnmn ako ng "guilt trap," naawa nnmn ako sayo at nakunsyensya, sabi mo, "so ganun ganun mo nlng ako iiwan? hindi mo man lang ipoprove ang sarili mo? hindi mo man lang ipagtatanggol ang sarili mo? ganyan lang naman pala ako sayo eh, kalokohan."

madalas mo ginagamit sakin ang guilt trap, kahit ikaw ang may kasalanan, effective yun sakin, kasi maprinsipyo ako, tska higit sa lahat, mahal kita. Nung gabing sinabi ko sayo lahat ng kasinungalingan, hindi kita iniwan, nagsorry ako ng todo-todo, kasi mahal kita, naging okay tayo ng ilang minuto, pero nag-init ka, may sadimonyong pumasok sayo, hindi ko alam kung anong naisip mo but you asked, not asked, commanded me to fuck myself, natulala na lang ako, nagulat sa pinagagawa mo, sabi ko sayo kaya ko gawin LAHAT para sayo, pero hindi ko inaasahan na yun ang papagawa mo sa akin.

Hindi ko alam kung panu gagawin un, pano ko ipapakita syo yung act of fucking myself, malayo ka, nagtry akong magexcuse sayo, tinry kong palusutan ka, pero hindi, desidido ka talagang makita akong ifuck ang sarili ko. besides sabi mo, pinasukan ko na ng marker ang pwetan ko, why not just repeat it?

iba't ibang dahilan ang sinabi ko sayo pero paulit ulit ka, "kung gusto may paraan, kung ayaw, may dahilan," tska yung "kahit effort lang ang ipakita mo sakin," ang mga katagang yun ang paulit ulit mong dinadahilan sa akin, sa pagkumbinsi mo sakin, sabi ko sa sarili ko, sige pagbibigyan na kita, sabi ko sayo "brb, give me 30mins," tumayo ako from my laptop, and headed to the bathroom.

Mangiyak ngiyak ako nung mga panahong iyon, ayaw tlga kitang breakin, at ayaw ko tlga gawin ang pinagagawa mo, nangibabaw ang pagmamahal ko sayo. Pagtapak ko sa bathroom, napamura ako, wala akong dalang marker, how could i fuck myself? humanap ako agad agad ng substitute and saw 3 toothbrushes from the sink, i lay down, turned my video camera phone on, and started doing the act of fucking myself.

"all this, i do, for my love for you," ang mga unang salita sa video, tatlo yung toothbrush, kinumpul ko sila at unti-unti ipinasok sa pinaglalabasan ng dumi ko ang hawakan ng mga toothbrush, mahapdi, masakit, labas masok ang 3 kumpol ng toothbrush sa pwerta ko, hindi ko ininda ang sakit, hindi ako nasasarapan, pero sinikap ko pagmukhaing nasasarapan ako to give you a good show, umungol ako, nagjakol, taas baba, hanggang labasan ako.

Sa kabila ng rurok na aking nadama, masakit ang pwet ko, mahapdi, pagdukot ko ng 3 toothbrush, hindi tae ang nakakapit sa mga ito, kundi dugo, pagtayo ko, puno din ng dugo ang lapag na aking hinigan, nasaktan ako, naiyak, napaputang ina, napaharap sa salamin, pero higit sa lahat, napapicture ako sa tissue na pinampunas ko sa lapag at sa toothbrush na puno ng dugo, pinicturan ko din ang sarili kong lumuluha, sinadya kong nagmumukha akong nagmamakaawa.

Masakit talga, hindi masarap, ng mga pagkakataong yun, naapakan ang pagkatao ko, pakiramdam ko ang baba, baba kong tao, pakiramdam ko, lahat ng pinaghirapan ko napunta sa wala, pakiramdam ko, baboy na baboy ako, pakiramdam ko, pwede nako mamatay sa kahihiyan.

ng makarecover sa luha at sa kirot ng aking pwetan, bumalik ako sa laptop, sinuksok ang memory card ng cellphone sa computer at niload ang pics and videos. Binuzz kita, photo share at sinend ang video, ng matapos magload at magsend sayo ng video, nilagyan ko na ng pics ang mga picture sa photo share, ang namumugto kong mga mata at ang mga duguang toothbrush at tissue, "pakasaya ka," ang mga huli kong kataga, umalis ako sa laptop at nigsign out, diretso ako sa kwarto ko, yakap yakap ang unan, agad akong humagulgol hanggang sa makagawa ng lawa ng luha.

Tumatawag ka sakin, sinagot ko pero hindi ako nagsalita, naiyak ka, nagmamakaawa na kausapin kita, sabi ko ayoko, sa puntong iyon, desidido nakong hiwalayan ka at kalimutan, pnapoalitan ko na din ang password ng laptop sa daddy ko at pinatay ko ang cellphone ko.

Tinawagan mo ang isa kong kaibigan tinanong kung anung landline namin pero hindi ka nagwagi, hindi nya ibibigay yun, nagpabigay ka nlng ng sulat sa kanya dahil bukas magkikta din nmn kami sa school. hindi ko pa din sinsagot ang cellphone ko, nakapatay pa din siya, "sa wakas" sabi ko, nakawala na din ako sa hirap ng puyat at sa hinanakit na binibigay mo sakin, makakasimula na din akong magmove on.

Hindi din kita natiis, kinausap din kita. sa likas kong pagiging matalino, nahulaan ko kung anu ang password ng laptop, nagusap tayo, closure lng, pero tinakot moko, nagwebcam, ka at nanakot na sasaktan mo ang sarili mo at papakamatay, alam ko kaya mo gawin yun, alam ko baliw ka, kaya natakot ako, pinatawad kita, ang tanga tanga ko.

Perfect timing na sana yun ng pagbebreak natin, perfect timing at reason pra magalit ako sayo, peor pinatawad kita, mahal kita. TInanong kita kung bakit yun ang ang pinagawa mo sakin, nagjoke ka pa, sabi mo, "hindi ko naman aakalaing gagawin mo yun,"
pero sa tono ng pananalita mo, sa tono ng pagpersuade mo sakin bago ko gawin yun, hayok ka, hayok na hayok kang makita kong ginagawa ko yun, ok lang, masaya ka naman ata na makita yun.

sariwa pa din sakin ang ala-alang iyon, bagamat tuyo na ang sugat sa aking anus, ang kurot sa puso na minsan akong nayurakan eh nandoon pa din, kumikirot pa minsan minsan.

NUng nagaway tayo, nakipagbreak ako syao, yung huli nating pagbebreak, yung end ng lahat, yung panahong iniwan na tlga kita, sinumbat ko sayo to, sinabihan kitang baboy ka, galit na galit ako sayo, dahil naalala ko nanaman ang gabing inapakan mo ang pagkatao ko, hindi lang kita tinawag na baboy pinagmumumura kita, isa lang ang natanong mo sa akin...

"akala ko, masaya ka nung ginawa mo yun, akala ko gusto mo talaga, hindi ba?"

pwes, nagkakamali ka, hindi ko siya ginusto, at kailan man, hinding hindi ko gugustuhin na kantutin ang sarili ko, at kailanman hindi ko akalaing magagawa ko yun dahil sa pagmamahal ko sayo. Sana man lang naisip mo yun, sa twing magmamayabang ka sakin, sa twing papamukha mo sakin ngayon na single ako, sa twing pamumukha ka sakin na masaya ka na sa piling ng iba.

Sana lang maalala mo, na minsan sa talangbuhay mo, ang taong sabi mo eh pinakamamahal mo, nayurakan mo nababoy, nasaktan.

Sana wag mong isipin na ikaw lang ang nasasaktan dahil hindi, ang lahat ng tinamo kong sakit sayo, grabe pa sa sakit na nadama mo, grabe pa sa kirot aqt hapdi ng tatlong toothbrush sa loob ng pwet ko, sana lang maisip mo un.

*******

Ang persona sa kwentong ito eh pareho lang sa persona na "AI fruit na lima!"
at tama nanaman kayo, ito ay pawag kabulaanan lang at hindi totoo. produkto lang sya ng aking malikot na imahinasyon lalo na ngayong bored ako. :P

Ai fruit na lima!

2009-01-21T18:55:00.016-06:00

WARNING! ANG SUSUNOD NA POST AY PUNO NG MURA.

**

Matagal na ring tayo, matagal na rin akong tanga sayo, parang gago lang, pero okay lang, mahal kita...

Alas ocho ng gabi, wala ka pa, inaantay kita, pero biglang nagtxt ka sa roaming kong cellphone, piso isang text, halatang walang wala sayo, binalita mo saakin, wala na kayong internet, butas ang bulsa ng magulang mo, hindi niyo mababayaran ang internet...

Dahil mahal kita, hindi ako mapakali, inoffer kong bigyan ka ng tulong, nung una humindi ka, pumilit ako, sabi ko ang akin ay iyo, and besides hindi tayo makakapagusap kung wala kang internet dahil sa putang inang kalokohan na long distance relationship na yan. Ok na, sabi mo gagawa ka ng paraan, pero kinabukasan, nagdrama ka, sabi mo naawa ka sa magulang mo dahil hindi din sila mapakali kung pano babayaran ang internet, 5000 pesos, wala lang dito yun, sabi mo sige, tulungan na kita, pero huli na, close to impossible na ang pagwiwithdraw ko.

Binigay ko ang aking debit card sa nanay ko upang makaipon, wala akong pera sa totoo lang, biyernes nuon, sweldo, at dahil nawawalan ng proyekto ang kumpanyang pinapasukan ko, 115$ lang ang pera na sinuweldo ko, pagkatext mo na tinatanggap mo na ang tulong ko, nasa eskwela ako, hindi ako mapakali kakaisip kung pano ko kukunin ang sinuweldo ko ng maipadala na sayo.

Walang anumalya, tinawagan ko nanay ko, sinabi kong kukunin ko ang debit card ko sa kanya, nagbus ako, 30mins ride from our school, kinuha ko ang debit card ko sa kanya, hindi sya nagtanong kung bakit, dumiretso akong banko para withdrawhin ang 115$, ala-sais na nuon, wala ng bukas na padalahan, umuwi ako, 1 oras na bus ride ulet papunta sa bahay kung saan nakikitira lang kami.

Nakikitira, napakameaningful sayo nuon, galit na galit ka sa kaibigan ng tatay mong nakikitira lang sa inyo, sakin mo lagi inilalabas ang sama ng loob mo sa kanya, hindi mo lang alam, natatamaan din ako, dahil nakikitira pa lang din kami, gusto kitang murahin, peor putang ina, mahal kita.

Kinabukasan, sabado, papadala ko na ang 115$, saktong sakto lang sa kailangan niyong pera. pumunta ako sa grocery store, kung saan ko papadala ang pera, ngunit nakalimutan ko, ay pucha! underage ako, hindi ako pwede magpadala ng pera. sabi ko na nga ba, mejo imposible ito, tumawag ako sa kaibigan kong 18+ na, para makiusap na samahan akong ipadala ang pera sayo, um-oo sya, pero alam ko, sa loob loob niya, ang tanga tanga ko.

Ayan, mappdala ko na ang pera, peor may problema pa din, wala kaming sasakyan papunta dun sa lugar na papadalhan ng pera, masyadong malayo kung magbubus kami, lalo na't may snow. nagsinungaling ako, sabi ko sa tatay ko may project kami, ihatid nya kami sa grocery store dhil may bibilhin kme dun, tas ihatid nya kami sa isa ko pang kaibigan, dun nmin ggwin ung project, para di halata.

Pumayag ang tatay ko, sinundo nmn si friend1, pumuntang grocery store. asa counter na si friend1, pinapadala na ang pera sayo, ang 115$ ay nabawasan pa ng 15$ dahil service fee, nagulat kami ng biglang pumasok yung tatay ko, buti hindi nagtanong kung bakit, lusot na naman kami. umalis kami sa grocery store, at hinatid kami sa bahay ni friend2.

ok na, napadala ko na ang pera, tinxt kita, matutulog muna ako, babawi sa mga tulog na nawala sakin dahil ginigising moko ng 5am, pinapatulog moko ng 2pm, papasok pako sa skewl, sabi ko sayo itxt moko pag online ka na.

4am dito, 2pm jan, galing kang simbahan, tumawag ka, ibinalita na may internet na kayo, uuwi ka nalang, natulog ulit ako, after 30 mins, nagtxt ka, online ka na. Natulog muna ulit ako, sabi ko mamaya na tayo magusap, ngayon lang ako nakatulog ng gan2ng katagal ulit, so gumising ako ng 9am, 7pm jan, magkausap tau hanggang 1pm dito, sabi mo inaantok ka na, pinilit kong wag ka muna matulog, 11 pa lang jan, hindi ka naman nagsuskool kaya ok lang, sabi mo hindi pwede kasi andyan natutulog ang mommy mo.

Ay putang ina, bakit ka ganyan, pag ako pinapatulog mo ng late, cge lang ako kahit babagsak na mata ko, Ay putang ina! nagsinungaling man ako sayo ng hindi lalagpas na 3 beses, hindi matuutmbasan mo ang pangagagago mo.

Isa lang yan sa mga dahilan kung bakit ako nakipagbreak sayo, gago ka kasi, pero mahal pa din kita. Sana man lang, inconsider mo lahat ng ginawa mo sa akin at ginawa ko para sayo bago mo ako pinalitan.

Ako ang nakipag break, pero sana hindi mo ako pinalitan ng ganun kabilis,
nasaktan ka alam ko, pero hindi lang ikaw ang nasaktan, mas grabe pa ang sakit na dinanas ko sayo kesa sa sakit na natamo mo nung nakipagbreak ako sayo.

Sa totoo lang, hindi ako masaya sa twing nagpupuyat ako para sayo, walang kwenta at paulit ulit naman ang pinaguusapan natin, puro away at puro pacute. kaya ako nakipagbreak sayo.

Isa pa kung bakit di kita masumbatan, ayaw mo ng sumbatan, alam ko nmng ayaw mo ng sumbatan kasi wala kang maisusumbat sa akin. hindi sa nililista ko lahat ng ginwa ko pra sayo pero dhil yun ang totoo... Putang ina mo... sana man lang inisip mo yung mga ginawa ko para sayo nung pinalitan mo ako.

Wala na tayong pagasa, galit pa din ako, bitter, dahil ang daming nawala sa akin, hanggang ngayon, medyo sariwa pa din ang sakit na dinulot mo, pero para sayo, parang wala lang nung umalis ako, nagmakaaa ka ng ilang araw, pero alam ko di ko na kaya ang kagaguhan na pinagagawa mo. Wala na tayong pag-asa, putang ina mo.

**

ang istorya sa taas ay pawang hindi katotohanan, ito ay isang produkto ng aking imahinasyon nung mga panahon na ako at ang aking 2 kaibigan ay bored na bored.
nakita ko ito sa laptop ng tatay ko while looking for some certain files. Share lang! :)

ps: cielo caldeo at heidi miranda, wag kayo maingay kung pano natin nagawa ang storyang ito. :)

Condolence from a Middle man

2009-01-20T20:56:00.007-06:00

I've kept my telephone operator job since ages but i've never encountered something so sad and cold like this, i never knew that death was something very depressing...

"The boyfriend of a 36-year-old woman killed in a Balmoral Street stabbing will be charged with second-degree murder, her family members said police told them.
Relatives of Valerie Ann Paypompee, originally of Shoal Lake, Ont., said she died around 4 a.m. Sunday in the city's second homicide of the year."

I was doing my routine at work, sometime last sunday, i've been bored for i've been awake since 8am and been working since 9, it was 12pm, 1 hour before my lunch break, line are going crazy, irate and stupid callers never gave up in solving their problems, a line came up, legal aid, it was a line where we give lawyers to people who are newly arrested, i answered the phone, got the police's name, and asked who he's got in custody, he spelled carefully, M-U-L-U-G-E-T-A GILLAMICHEAL, charged with domestic assault and homicide, i felt scared, for those are 2 charges so foul that only heaven could decide where he should be, he could actually stalk me and kill me and do the same to me as he did to his victim...

2pm, lines went calm, i heard a ding, another call, tissue donor service, a line where hospitals from winnipeg report about deaths, i answered the phone, took all necessary details and of course the name of the dead person, V-A-L-E-R-I-E paypom-P-E-E, as the nurse spells, 36 years old and died 4am, i actually am numb hearing about dead people, it's like nothing, not until, tuesday am.

My mom and dad we're waiting for the Obama Inauguration as we watch ctv news, i felt blood rush into my brains, when i heard the newscaster talk about a 36 year old woman killed inside her house by Mulugeta Gillamicheal, i never went into details as i was so shocked i was left speechless, indeed, it was Valerie Paypompee, being reported locally, but the difference is, she is dead.

I was never connected to Valerie Paypompee nor Mulugeta Gillamicheal, but those two names, opened my eyes, that i could be dead tommorow morning, that i could be someone being reported dead locally, those 2 names actually awaken me to a truth that in time, i'd be dead, or killed, or stoned to death.

An incident that really did scarred my perception about life, an incident that made me realize how i should be living, a piece of reality that bit me...

Maybe i should start doing good stuff from now on, not that i am a bad person, we just dont know when my contribution to this world could end.

A piece of everything in one

2009-01-13T22:49:00.011-06:00

I always perceived my life as balanced...
I could be very funny at times but when it gets serious,
I know HOW and WHEN to stop...
I know when to party and when to study...
I know when to flirt and I know when to compress myself..
I know when to spill jokes and i know when to keep secrets...
I know how to have fun and i know how to feel bad sometimes...
I could be very clever and i could be so dumb...
I could be a very classy person and at times i could be trashy too..

I always tell people that I'm a piece of everything in one,
I could be a street kid that knows the streets,
I could be your very friendly guy next door,
I could also be your bubbly girl next door(LOL),
I could be like a nun quiet for prayers,
I could be like a ring master, shouts as loud as he could,
I could be very intelligent, a straightA student,
I could be very delinquent, renegade of my own school,
I could dress down, like everybody else,
I could also be trendy, spice my fashionista side,
I could be an enemy, to those who deserves my HELL-ish fire,
I could be a friend, to those who deserves my HEAVENLY touch,
I could be dependent, i wanna be someone's baby,
I could be independent, a 5-year straight class president,
but most of all,

I am true to myself and i couldn't be fake...
I used to lie before, when i was in elementary
simple white lies just to boast myself ,
from elephants in Africa to a cellphone collection,
but cmon! that was like 10 years ago?

and now,
as I talk about those things w/ my friends, we just laugh about it,
we do know it's bullshit,
I even tell them these days,

"I'd rather admit that i have no money or i cannot afford expensive stuff, than make fake things and lie to you guys..."

having everything said above...

BAKIT SINGLE PA DIN AKO?

hahaha!

malapit na ang valentines day, or, single awareness day rather! LOL
ok lng yan.. self sufficiency can't kill! LOL and besides, im not desperate like other people... LOL

UH OH...

2009-01-07T00:45:00.002-06:00

SOMEONE'S BEEN READING MY BLOG...
BETTER KEEP EVERYTHING PRIVATE...
HE'S BEEN READING IT SINCE FROM FIRST TO LAST POST...
HOW DO I KNOW?

AKO PA? LOL

I BETTER BE CAREFUL, DONT WANT TO SPOIL SOME FREAKIN SECRET MOMENTS HERE.. HAHAHA..
WANNA GOSSIP THOUGH? add me and let's talk bout it..> justin_monton@yahoo.com

;)

then 08 counts 09...

2008-12-30T22:22:00.034-06:00

top 10- 08 kicks!! :D:D:D
-everybody is just so pumped for the new year so let me count down all the best happenings that happened to me this 08.. connection anyone? haha! :)

TOP 10. WORKING IN TIGERTEL.

**yea.. i often ache about my job as an answering geek but i guess it's just normal for everyone to be like that, saying their job sucks but deep inside they really like it.. ;) besides, maybe this year i'd find myself working in another company because i can't feel the urge for me to work nemore for this company, but still... i love this job that's why it should be put in my top 10 list. :)**

TOP 9. BEING SINGLE AGAIN!

**FINALLY, i've felt myself again, i could move freely! I could do whatever I want but of course i still do know my limits, i love being single! i could feel my independence minus the hurting! yeaup.. being single AGAIN is great that's why it is freakin on my top 9!:)**

TOP 8. MAINTAINING HIGH MARKS!

**despite of the fact that i'm working part time, i've got millions of school organizations and my social life reached its 2nd to the highest level... i still managed to be a straightA student.. not bad huh? i jsut dont know whether i could continue doing this good job this coming sem with all the alcohol that flowed into my veins and killed my brain cells... bwahaha! ;)**

TOP 7. BEING VERY INVOLVED IN SCHOOL.

**i've joined unity group, student council, school drama productions, a couple of volunteer movements and the student scholarship committee! whew... i did those things to counter the stuff that i cant do... lol.. like sports and drawing! ;)**

top 6. A CAROL FOR TINY TIM!

** yea.. this event pretty much should be listed on the top 7th list. but i want it to be different and special! so i put it on top 6! aside from the fact that i gained more friends in skewl, i also had the chance to show my freakin talent in acting... which i really love! :) hope i could also enter the production this coming semester.. :)**

TOP 5. DISCOVERING MY PARTY ANIMAL INSTINCT!

**I didnt really liked drinking hard.. im a social drinker before but then i kinda evolved into level2 social drinker.. before when i drink with my friends.. a shot or two is enough, i stop, drunk! but these days, seems my excitement level went 100x and whenever i get drunk, i still ask for more! LOL.. FUN! **

TOP 4. SUMMER'08

**my summer was a blast! mall here and there, beach with my new friends! camping with my family! and spent time with my relatives! my summer was a blast with less alcohol! LOL.. loves it! :) need i say more? :P**

TOP 3. LEARNING MORE FROM MYSELF AND THE OTHERS.

**moving into a foreign country, having no friends, starting from zero add the crappy relationship, it has been hard for me to rise from being garbage, luckily, i was able to polish myself and gained my "real" consciousness and moved on, what's more unbelievable is, i kinda did it in one year... im proud of myself. really. :)**

TOP 2. KNOWING MORE AND MORE FRIENDS. :)

**aside from my friends that i left in the philippines. i GAINED MORE.. and i just love them.. i started shopping with them, parteying with them and sleep overs with them! and that is fun... and what i can say is, sometimes i just need someone to stop me from being wild and then there were friends! i jsut simply love them..:)**

and last but not the least...

TOP 1. OF COURSE BEING ABLE TO STAY CLOSER WITH MY FAMILY.

**in spite of the fact that my family has been suffering from this "adjustment" stage here in ca. we managed to stay closer.. i just love my family period. and i dont want to do anything to upset them, and so far, i've succeeded... :) lvoe ltos family!:)

there you go! I jsut want to thank God for showering me with blessings constantly, he just never fails, though sometimes he puts me into tests, im glad i am always able to accomplish those tests, i hope i continue living the good life this coming 09.. love lots from me frenlies! :)

"life isn't about what you get, but it's always about what you give..."

yan! magsawa kau sa mukha ko! :P

oo nga pala..

HAPPY NEW YEAR EBLIBADI!!!!!

Here comes year 2! :D

2008-12-21T22:59:00.006-06:00

YEY! one year and i'm still here in ca.! yeaup.. everything gets better and better and im totally excited of what will happen this coming 2009..
been a long time since i blogged and A LOT! i mean A LOT has happened..
:D:D:D

im still @ tigertel, answering phones but i dont have any schedule until next year...
IM still proud having a white collar job in my age.. :D:D:D

"curtain call"

"that's me w/ the moustache! doing my thing! :D"

i had a major role for the school play this december and im looking forward to being the lead in the coming musical.. LOL
i still have great friends..
im still single.. but im happy!
and im turning 18 soooon! yey!!!! :D:D:D

jeez.. i feel satisfied w/ my life now and pretty much everything is going my way.. jsut hope it wont stop.. :)

just in case i grow tired of posting before christmas and new year..

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE! :D

this ncoming 2009.. im pretty sure ill; study hard BUT..

i'll party harder! hahaha!

SOrry.. :(

2008-11-21T21:41:00.003-06:00

Sorry kung naging selfish ako.. sorry kung sumama loob ko... sorry dad.. sorry mom..
masyado lang siguro akong napagod these days.. sorry...

naglelay-off ang company nila dad...
nalayoff na ang mga kasama nya..
sa jan 1. either malayoff sya or 3days a week nlng sya magwowork..,
di pa confirmed..

natatakot ako...
sana hindi..
natatakot ako...

ulit.. sorry parents.. di na mgiging matigas ulo ko..
sisimulan ko na rin tumulong sa bahay..
siguro marami pa kaung pinoproblema bukod dun..
alam ko marami ring problema yung mga nasa pinas..
kung alam ko lng kung anu yung mga yun...

My girls! :)

2008-11-20T09:39:00.004-06:00

PICK 7 GUYS IF YOU'RE A GIRL AND GIRLS IF YOU'RE A GUY.

1. Itel
2. Judy
3. Eunice
4. Jamoi
5. Cielo
6. Louella
7. Dianne

Would you ever date number 2?
never do that to friends! :)

Are you close to number 7?
YEaup.

Have you ever liked number 6?
OO! LOL

Will you ever marry number 4?
SUUUUREE! :)

Has number 3 eaten in front of you?
Of course!! :)

What would you do if number 1 confessed their love for you?
hahahaha! ask her if she's serious of ruining her life? hahaha!

What about if number 5 confessed their love for you?
well, i know we love each other so well yennoe. :)

What do you think is the funniest thing about number 6?
the crazy noise she makes during classes.

Would you cry if 7 died?
i dont cry much tis days.. but maybe!?

Who would you say is your best friend out of 1-7?
all of them.. :)

Who would you say is the smartest/nerdiest?
si number 1. valedictorian yun eh!

Would you kiss number 6 for 50 bucks?
hahahahha!! why not?

Would you tell a secret to number 3?
yeaup.. :)

Would you ever trust number 1 with your life?
of course! :0 she always got my back yennoe

If any of them sweet talked you, who would you believe the most?
number 6! :)

Have you ever gone out with number 4?
yea! nagshopping kami together! :)

Ever been on a date with 7?
haha! yea! we went shopping together din!

If there was one thing you'd like number 1 to do what is it?
fullfill my christmas wishlist! ;)

Name one memory with number 4?
summer 08! :)

Has number 3 ever embarrassed you?
nope..

If number 6 was in a burning building with your dad who would you save first?
id rather die than choose bet. my parents or my friends.

When did you last see 1?
kanina lang.

Do you miss any of them?
all of them!

Who do you chill with the most?
itel, cie, eunice, louella. same school eh

If you had to choose between everyone to be your date to prom who would it be?
aww.. lahat yan single except louella ehh! so.. id rather not choose..

Who's the most athletic?
jamoi!

If you HAD to pick one to marry , which one will you choose?
bawal friends. :P

Clearly all about ME

2008-11-18T22:59:00.005-06:00

warning! ang post na ito ay tungkol sakin at sakin lamang!

padabog na sinara ng tatay ko ang pinto kanina lang..
may work kasi ako ng hanggang 10, then mom ko works until 11:30, pero
hindi sya nakakalabas hanggang mga 12:30 or so dhil ang dmi-dmi nya pang gngwa..
dumiretso kme para sunduin ang nanay ko sa work nya,
pinababa ako ng tatay ko pra pumasok dun sa store ni mommy,
ayoko bumaba, sa kotse lng ako, matutulog...

padabog na sinara ng tatay ko ang pinto at rumaragasang pinatakbo ang kotse...

naalala ko pa nuon kung pano sabihin ng tatay ko "akala mo ba magbabakasayon lang tayo dito?" sa twing ineexplain nya sa akin na dito na kami titira... oo nga hindi nga pala kami nagbabakasyon dito.. dito na pala kami titira...

away from the good life, or are we?

naiintindihan ko na nagtitipid sya ng gas kaya gusto na niyang dumiretso sa work ni mommy, kung gas lang pala ang problema kayang kaya ko pagasan ang kotse namin, oo, naiintindihan ko din na pagod na sya at ayaw na nya magdrive, pero ewan, lahat naman ata kami dito napapagod, ata lang...

bilang pagrerebelde, dahil ang sama talaga ng loob ko, magbubus nlng ako pauwi sa friday, 10 ang uwi ko, bahala na kung ano mangyare, bahala na...

"...an "important" figure both in t.a. class and life of the school in general..."

ang sarap pakinggan na may nakakaappreciate pala ng mga ginagawa ko. hindi ko nmn tinatanggi na gusto ko ng attention, hindi ko lang pinahahalata, kung may pumansin edi YEY! kung wala, ok lang, kaya natuto din siguro ako humanap ng iba't ibang ways para maging kakaiba, and so far yung ways na yun, has been working too well and they never failed me...

nagtatampo ako sa parents ko din, kasi prang kahit nung nasa pinas pako, hindi ata sila masaya sa ginagawa ko, i always feel it's not enough. naiinggit ako sa ibang tao kung saan ang magulang nila, halos ipamalita sa buong mundo na may ganto o ganyan ang anak nila, naiinggit ako sa kanila. ako, sabihin ko ng mapapel ako, may pinatutunguhan naman yung pagiging mapapel ko, makukuha ko lng, that's good, sige, nasanay nako dun.

straigh A student, executive in 2 different school organizations namely the student scholarship committee and the maples unity group, had a major role in a school drama production, doesn't do drugs, student council member, a controlled drunkie, a very classy socialite, a party animal and a loyal friend. all of those stuff, put into one, that's justin...

and im freakin proud of myself, though no one truly appreciates all i do, i'm good, i guess.? :(

to one of my favoritest girl in the world!!!

2008-11-13T23:06:00.004-06:00

"HAPPY BORTHDAYY JUDYANN!!! :DDD

PS. HINDI SYA BORN DITO. HINDI SYA MODEL. SIYA SI JUDY!

1. is she/he your friend in facebook ?
- for sure! :D

2. why did you choose him/her for to be your subject for this survey ?
- bcuz it's her birthday!? :D

3. what place/s reminds you most of him/her ?
- the forks! hahaa!

4. what songs makes you remember him/her ?
- hmm.. forever- chris brown. LOL.

5. why ?
- un kasi ung ringtone ni dianne when we were chillin before.. so i remember them when i hear that song..

6. is he/she kind ?
- NO! HARSH! LOL

7. is he/she good at singing ?
- YES.. wla akong friend na di talented.. LOL

8. hot bout' drawing ?
- does make-up count?

9. does he/she looks like one of the celebrities ?
- she does!! look how pretty she is! ;)

10. are you close with him/her ?
- of coure.. :)

11. have you seen him/her getting angry?
- pissed. anger is not on our vocabulary yennoe.

12. how about SMILE ?
- of course!

13.how about, have you ever seen him/her crying ?
- not yet...

14. do you know what's his/her favorite clothes to wear?
- she's got lots of clothes..

15. does he/she makes you happy?
- yeaup! ;)

16. have you ever made him/her cry?
- nahh..

17. what's his/her favorite food to eat ?
- SUSHI!

18. what's his/her favorite song as of now ?
- iunno.. we havent seen each other for ages.. :(

19. what do you call him/her ?
- juday. haha!

20. if you got a sentence for him, what would you tell him ?
- "hey bitch! ;) see you on sat. love you lots. :)"

And then it is cold.. for the second time...

2008-11-03T20:35:00.007-06:00

It's been a year.. since we migrated here in canada. new people, stuff, adventure and excitement... or is it? OO, isang taon na ang lumipas nasa pinas pa ako, init na init, excited na excited sa paglipat nmen dito, isang taon na ang lumipas, alin na ang mga nagbago?

I have no choice, my family moved here as one, i have to be with them, of course it's hard living on a different world from what i was used to, it is truly, people thinks that living in a different country is an advantage for everyone, but then, guess what? not all that glitters are diamond, of course things has it's good things and bad things, yea sure, cliche.

I grew up with a country where people are warm, hospitable, carefree and fun loving, but then I moved into a country not so close to where i grew up, with these white cold things all over, clean streets, 4way stop signs, less traffic and surprisingly uncrowded malls. Oh LOL, ang ironic ata ng sinabi ko. LOL anyway continue sa drama, wala ang mga tyangge, ang uniwide, ang sm bacoor, ang grocery or small sari sari store, ang street food at ang tricycle. WALA. I miss those stuff, i feel homesick, but then after a year, i started hugging the culture, the way of living, their way, is my way, and i guess, that's the way it is.

I felt numb, insensitive, still fun loving and hospitable, I can't say i became better but i guess i still bring up everything that i do best. I started seeing the world as a bigger picture, not only a world centered on me, centered on how i could be successful. I started to belong, join orgs and activities. Those stuffs, somewhat kept me busy, made me forget everything that i miss back from my country, behold, my normal weekly sched...

Sunday: my freakin supervisor usually(?) gives me work on sundays, 9am-5pm, then we go to church @ 730pm and after mass, family gathering, party.

Monday: I wake up @ 8, go to school before 9, get off school @ 3:30 and go to work 4:30-10, my dad picks me up after work.

Tuesday: i still wake up @ 8, go to school before 9, school ends @ 3:30, student council meeting until 4:30, go to work until 10.

Wednesday: i still wake up @ 8, go to school before 9, school ends @ 3:30, drama rehearsal until 5, that will last until december 9, 10 and 11, the official showing date of our school drama prod. go to work until 10.

same agenda for thursday.

Friday: same as monday. just that @ lunch, we usually have a unity group meeting, that's why sometimes i dont eat.

saturday: work 9-5, family gathering, party.

im off @ work twice a week which goes randomly. not to mention the student scholarship meeting happening every self directed Wednesdays, add stuff and events organized by my orgs. i know im busy, but i still get to chill with my friends, and these stuff keeps me away from thinking. thinking about sad things...

Im single, who cares? I'm totally blessed by God with all these things flowing around me, why should i ask for more? oh yea, you got it right, defense mechanism. luckily i got these people...

And these people too...

and technically these people...

been working my ass off these days, and saying these things, i could say i belong.

oh and finally, i bought my own camera! :D im so happy, it's the cannon a2000. i'm actually contented on what it can give to me. im so proud of myself. LOL

normal lang...

2008-10-08T00:15:00.002-05:00

isang gabi.. nakakita si jasper ng site sa internet na libreng ragnarok na puro pinoy ang naglalaro.. excited na excited syang ibinalita sa akin ang magandang balita..

balik adik ako.. balik ragnarok..
buhay gamer.... LOL

pagbigyan niyo nako guys.. wala akong lablyph ehh.. LOLOLOL..

ngek.. im single and i'm happy..
i'm contented enough and i dont need anyone to complete me..
KALOKOHAN! LOLOL

normal lang naman maging single at maging masaya dba? :D

jam packed..

2008-10-06T23:41:00.004-05:00

I got the role... of farthingate... whoever that is... LOL picture not clear enough for a proof but anyway...

so yea.. i audition for the shcool drama this december and got into the final casting list.. only problem.. who the heck is farthingate? searched it through the net.. but then can't find any answers.. LOL... not until i got my script.. so yea.. farthingate was the one who influenced tiny tim on how to be greedy... he taught tiny tim how to take advantage of ebenezer scrooge's help for his family.. farthingate is a bad guy.. LOL... and i'd be playing it.. weee.. so loving it..

practices.. wed and thursdays.. i got those days booked off until the play ends..
will only be staying for work until 10pm... and yea.. everything's working fine...

Unity group will have it's meeting tommorow @ lunch.. so you see.. im a co-student associate for that organization.(feel ko lng sabihin.. gusto ko lng magyabang! LOL). i hafta be there.. ;) will be meeting for the upcoming.. "rock against racism" event.. where bands through out winnipeg will get to showcase their talents and title says it all.. ROCK AGAINST RACISM... so yea.. meeting here and there...

self directed wednesday on obviously.. Wednesday.. i will be attending a student leader work shop.. focusing on student council.. untiy group.. and other student leader organization through out the school.. i think that's an all day activity. but then i have to help set up the maples mart for it will be opening very very soon..

speaking of maples mart.. if everything will be set up this week.. it will open, sometime next week... and i will be a big part of managing the small store.. :)

and speaking of that maples mart.. every student studying management in maples will get to handle the said store... it will be like our job, to finance it, do inventory, advertise and manage.. so.. our teacher.. is mean... LOL.. i know it's so not connected but then i still want to tell the story..

so (let's call him BL) BL was so happy for the class for some reason and he raised a high five for one of my classmates, i really dont know and it's so weird but the girl doesn't know what a high five is... you know what BL did? he googled the meaning of high five, printed it and gave it to my classmate... i know bitchy enough and so funny.. but heck! he is a teacher... he shouldn't be doing that.. instead of humiliating, he should teach.. duh? it has happened a lot of times.. good thing im not that dumb.. lol..

anyway.. after school.. on wednesday.. we will have our first practice ever.. and im excited.. :)

could you say.. jam packed? LOL..

oh.. btw... we have exams on world issues tommorow.. a class that i really love.. LOL..

starting to work my way on top.. simply loving it.. :)

afraid to make mistakes because you think people will think your stupid?

2008-10-01T00:13:00.002-05:00

UGH.. been drowning myself from school work and work itself..
seriously people.. i need to get a life..
it's like i'm living under a rock..

okay.. will be auditioning for the school drama tommorow..
a carol for tiny tim... for this december.. yea.
hope i get a major part..

then.. work comes.. look at my sched for this week..

mon: off
tue: 430-11
wed: 630-11
thurs: 430-11
FRI: 5-1
sat: 3-11

im like WTF? i know i did put my availabilty until 1am.. but hell? the did it! seriously.. they think im super human.. full time student.. full time answering geek.. fkk?

and worse.. people from my job are expecting A LOT from me..
like they think i could memorize their crappy istructions in a snap..

seriously... in my work.. we need to judge wether a call is an urgent or non urgent one.. so they have certain instructions from different lines.. so urgent and non-urgent things may vary.. like fukk? im so guessing what's urgent and non urgent.. UGGH.. sa'll so hard..

and whenever i ask them questions.. i could see they're irritated.. because it's like i'm asking aLL the questions from all the lines it has become redundant and rhetorical.. so a lot of times.. i keep EVERYTHING to myself tryina figure out how to dispatch a certain call..

and when i make a mistake..

boom..

they'll tell me..

justin.. your afraid to ask and make mistakes because people will think your dumb right? well believe me.. you're not dumb and people won't think you're dumb.. you're a very effective personnel bla bla..

ugh.. FKK..

what a life..

a lot...

2008-09-18T22:04:00.003-05:00

life has been a breeze for me tis days..
school's been up and work has been making me busy...

been earning a lot..
and when i say A LOT, i really mean it..
i love it... seriously..
not only that it gives me hope to go back to ph this summer..
but it also has given me this money for shopping..

so school.. just started just like 2 weeks ago..
noticed how people use "like" whenever they speak english.. LOL...
im guilty of that crime.. LIKE i need to be punished for saying the word..
LOL..
so anyway..
just days ago.. a letter was sent by the school inviting my parents to attend a ceremony... first i thought i did something bad at school or i might be flunking.. having in mind that i've got 2 line of 6's and line of 7's.. well guess what? it just says that
i had an excellent year with them last year and i qualified garnering the honor roll status.. my other subjects have pulled those 6 and 7s...
not a big deal though... you just have to have an average of 80 with all your subjects and poof.. hello honor roll..
it turns big deal when you're an asian and you wont get the status..
LOL... im being racist now..

well guys.. sorry for speaking in english.. i just need to see if i could still speak english.. coz as i could see.. work has been eating my brain these days and i frequently find myself choked using this language..

well.. school's been good with me.. love all my classes.. only thing i hate is that i am not bound to qualify for a scholarship.. UGH.. i need to prove that i am a student leader here in ca yet the only thing i've got is i'm an associate student leader of the maples unity group.. i feel threatened.. and for my achievements in pinas to be credited... i need references.. anyone from the faculty in atheneum reading this shit could write something bout my achievements in pinas? ms anne? LOL.. if there are any.. haha...

good things from work too.. after 2 months of taking and dispatching calls.. i've got promoted.. i am a senior operator now.. i've got a raise considering i'm only occasional.. means that i work beyond their rules based on mine.. LOL..
well.. been earning a lot.. just saw my paystab earlier and i think they gave me more than what i've worked.. oh well.. their bahd.. they gave me extra money.. should be just thankful enough for that... sexy.. i know..

well.. too much info for now.. dont think that im living the good life here.. coz you dont know how much i've been through.. if you just know how rotten my inside is.. not that i have a bad attitude.,. you guys just dont know.. hahahaha! LOL.. :)

all i want...

2008-08-24T21:52:00.002-05:00

is someone who would treat me like his baby..
his own..
his..

is someone who will call me when he gets home..
call me when he's bout to sleep.
or simply call just to initiate my lee..

is someone who will rest his arm on my shoulder while walking..
feel comftable when i hug him through scary movies..
or just hold my hand...

is someone who will respect my parents and me..
check me out and call me hot..
surrender his life to me..

is someone trustworthy enbough so i could give EVERYTHING to him..
or just sumone who will treat like a very big part of his life..

oh wait..
he is a perfection..
i forgot how being perfect is just a state of mind in this world..

nothing perfect..
live with it..

When i grow up...

2008-08-18T00:06:00.005-05:00

i DONT wanna be famous... yet i wanna be KNOWN..
i DONT wanna be a star.. i wanna have a WORLD of my own...
i DONT wanna be in movies... I wanna MAKE movies..

LOL..

nung nasa pinas pa ako.. i want to enter the showbusiness... yet it's lighter side..
i wanna shoot films.. make films.. not star on them.. i wanna be a model.. i wanna be an event coordinator.. prang yung trabaho ni linsay lohan sa just my luck.. gusto ko ganung trabaho.. sa movie na iyon.. she recieves recognition yet she's not popular.. gusto ko ganun.. i could make that possible by studying advertising...

but nooooo!!! pumunta kami dito sa canada...

nagiba lahat... not that i want to be practical.. i HAVE to be practical.. i have to choose a path in where i am earning well, a reasonable amount of money.. yet i enjoy the job... i started thinking of entering the real estate business... anjan din ang automobile shop.. i consider securing a job in the bank... and i am also watching out for a position in the airport... because i want to travel.. and earn money..

BUT NOOOO! i cant be a flight steward FOREVER!! yea.. i want a higher position in the airport business...

so yea.. i'd be studying business in university and EXCEL! ima be what i want to be mmkay? no one could stop me... bsta.. LOL... landi ko..

so far, good nmn ang aking employment background.. one outbound call center job.. more of persuading and telling people what to do... i could use my earned skills from that job to sell cars and houses hey? skills? meron nga ba? LOL and the one im building my foundation with now... my job in the inbound call center business.. CSR ako.. customer service representative... well who knows? i so love the job.. bka maging CEO pako nung company or manager or whatever? and as i've heard from the seniorities.. malaki sinasahod nila.. not per hour but per month.. LOL.. anyway.. who knows?

and about dun sa picture above. courtesy of juday... downtown winnipeg.. LOL.. buti wlang hobo dun sa pic.. but yea.. sumwhere close to where i work.. it's winnipeg's makati... isn't it beautiful? sarcasm on sale.. bibili ka? LOL.. anyway..

tata for now...

ang kape...

2008-08-11T22:03:00.003-05:00

ay naging parte na ng pangaraw-araw na buhay ko ngayon...
na22log kasi ako ng around 12 at ggsing ng aroundf 830 para magprepare...
mahirap oo.. pero kakayanin..
last week ko na ito sa NRG... ung outbound call center job ko..
masaya oo.. fulfilled.. mejo... babalik... HINDI!

magulo ang sched ko sa parehong job... paikot-ikot.. magextend ung isa.. apektado ung isa... hindi nako kumakain sa tamang oras... 30 minutes na lang ang interval from the 2 jobs... masaya oo.. ginusto ko din naman toh...

buhay on the go.. mahirap.. pero kakayanin..
naeenjoy ko pa din naman ang teenage life ko..
inom dito.. inom doon..
shopping dito at doon..
nawawalan na nga lang ako halos oras sa sarili..
mahirap oo.. pero kakayanin..

haix buhay..
una-unahan.. ang bilis bilis..
di mo mapapansin tapos na din pala..

parang kapeng nagpapadaloy at nangigising sa iyong umaga..
bawat higop.. mainit.. nkakapaso.. nakakagising..
nagbibigay buhay..
masarap oo... maganda HINDI...
hindi nako maka2log sa gabi dhil sa paginom ng kape...

kaya napupuyat ako at nagdudulot kung bakit hirap din ako bumangon sa umaga...

ganyan buhay ko.. konektado..
paikotikot...
mahirap oo..
kakasawa.. mejo..
pero kakayanin..

buhay ko toh ehh...
di ko na mababago un..

mahirap oo..
katanggap tanggap.. mejo..
susuko... HINDI!

marami pakong pwedeng marating..
matutunan...
mararanasan..
exciting.. oo..
masaya oo..
mahirap.. mejo..
pero kakayanin...

anyone got the time?

2008-07-30T23:27:00.003-05:00

Just got another job... another call center job.. but it is totally different.. i got a job from an inbound call center.. an answering/paging service.. we do not do sales call and people call us for our messaging service... im about to quit my outbound call center job this august 16, because i can't keep up with my schedule anymore and my inbound job pays more.LOL. though my inbound job is 3 streets away from my outbound job, i just walk from one to another btw, i still can't arrange my schedule... so i'd keep my inbound job when school comes...

i love my inbound job... no stress.. i just have to get the paging number and some other infos to deliver to the person that got and is paying for our service.. as i've said... i'm just walking from my inbound job to my outbound job so i'd save bus tickets... it was tiring.. yet fun.. i can hear those noisy click-clacks from the shoes of other people working close to my workplace...

my inbound job is located at portage... before 4pm, you have to look office-y, and when i get to be alone and walk to get to my outbound job, i actually walk with other corporate workers... aww gahhdd. just the sound of their shoes tells me how i belong in their world.. it was just so overwhelming..

anyhow.. im so bothered and bitched how time walks with me so fast... i even forgot how to eat right and walk slowly,, technically... even speak slowly... my friends do sometimes joke around and tell me how i speak 1000words/ minute.. LOL..

ugh.. i so remember those days where i use to spend a night editing my friendster layout... LOL.. no can do those things right now.. for when i get home.. all i want to do is to sleep and rest.. i feel tired.. weary.. yet fulfilled.. im happy with my life now... i just need you in my arms... haiixx..

toodles.. gotta sleep now.. :)

Life is a gift itself, i should be thankful enough for that...

2008-07-22T00:31:00.003-05:00

I feel alone... though surrounded by infinite number of friends.. I feel empty.. i feel like there's nothing happening in my life. I asked all of them what's happening but none of them could answer... even my whole self can't... so who can? why ask me? I don't even know what I want, well that was before I came here.. to this foreign land... where I get to eat what i want, get to buy what i want, could still call people and be me... earn money and live life... yet... I do feel alone.. like a party animal resting for the night... I don't know what to say actually.. i just applied this free writing and came up with this whole paragraph... that's what I am now.. a mediocre random person...

I don't even know now what things i specialize... yes i work as a call center agent... as a part time student... but are these things enough so i could express myself to the whole world? NO! it's not.. sheesh.. i might quit my telemarketing job when school comes... why? uhmm.. job-satisfaction.. i'm not satisfied... it's not a good job to waste my time and life with...

where is justin? jeremy? tennybear? disjustin? ten-ten? direk? where are they? i think they're lost... but... here comes a new one... new justin.. wet, hard and wild... this is me... this is justin..

i dont fuckking care what you effin think about me... i live my life the way i wanted to... i might hurt or inspire you.. i dont care.. as long as i am happy.. i dont care ... what i have in life is not to be bragged about.. i know little about it.. i live it... have fun with it and learn to accept it... this is me.. this is justin.. nothing you could do about it... nuff said...

SAY WHAT?

2008-07-16T11:46:00.002-05:00

sa isang potlock session ng pamilya namen dhil birthday ng isang kamaganak..
naguusap ang mommy ko at si tita baby tungkol sa bag nung isa ko pang tita..

mommy: aba! conincidence!
tita baby: ano yon? papakuin si tess?

hahahaha! now tell!! it runs in the blooood! hahahaha!

nalulungkot ako guys...

2008-07-11T10:56:00.000-05:00

... kasi nililibog ako.. :( LOLOL

the ex and si ex...

2008-06-23T12:14:00.009-05:00

We went to the red river exhibition last saturday with the whoooole family... the ex just happens to be put up once in a year due to the seasons here.. it's a carnival thing where you get to ride rides and stuff and play games and the likes.. i soooo enjoyed being with my family... and again.. i felt ecstatic.. since i arrived here in canada.. it's my first time to feel and get a touch of nirvana again.. though as you know.. i am getting over this break up.. with him...

this red river experience was soooo fun and memorable.. it helped me reminding myself that i should spend time well, for myself! :) though we ended up.. well..

getting wet.. :) we had sooo much fun.. :) i am soo now in the state of what always happens to me before,.. a state where i am looking for something that could possibly counter this ecstatic feeling with another ecstatic feeling.. LOL.. i feel happy.. though.. hahah! i dont wanna explain any further! LOOOL!

i am currently editing a vlog now.. LOL.. :) soo.. tata for now.. :)

well acshully.. cant help but to think of him.. though.. nevermind.. ;)

you.. take care.. see you when i see you... imy.. connect...

INtroducing: bloggerwave!

2008-06-20T00:24:00.008-05:00

I just joined Bloggerwave! a thing in the internet where you could actually earn and make money by writing a review about their things in your blog!

they would normally ask you to write and describe some advertiser's products and you will get paid by doing the advertising job.. LOL.. and then yes.. you earn money.. YEY!

and this post is my first job! LOL! they have more jobs for people so you should also try.. :)

you could see more information and know about what im talking about better if you would just visit their website.. that is..

acshually...

2008-06-19T23:55:00.002-05:00

Im sick since wednesday...

have i told you that two jobs called me for an interview.?
the first one was at the chocolate shop.. it was like a fine dining thing.. but they serve alcohol.. so i cant work there because im under 18...

the other one was at arby's.. and loool.. i dont think it's in winnipeg anymore lol.. haha...

daming nagbago since hmm.. cnt remember when.. im acshually now living the way I should live.. LOL... it took me 8 months to adjust.. LOL.. haha.. nwei.. dont wanna speak any further..

hmm.. a lot of changes.. sobrang daming changes..

im back to being the child na naglalaro ng mga games and stuff na ulit.. i acshually found myself again.. and again.. dont wanna speak any further.. LOL!

acshually.. i feel happy... i feel complete.. though.. a big part of me tells me im not.. LOL..

hence.. i miss him.. LOL.. how ironic.. and paradoxical.. LOL.. just wishin.. haiix.. acshually know what? I DONT WANNA SPEAK ANY FURTHER! LOL! haha!

im acshually thinking of Vlogging.. LOL.. :)

Im an effin kid! :D

2008-06-07T23:35:00.009-05:00

I tend to hold with what i believe simply because i am a kid...

I am an authentic example of being carefree and restless, simply because im a kid...

I often act, speak and think without sense simply because Im a kid...

I am constantly defined as gluttonous simply because I am a kid...

I love hangin out with my senioritas simply because i am a kid...

I jump, play, eat, act, speak, move, think and live like a kid...

simply because i am a kid.. and no one could take it from me... :)

hindi ko kinaya!

2008-06-06T09:21:00.003-05:00

... ang international na ulan!! wahahahaha! :(

jusko.. lakarin mo ang bahay mo hanggang SM.. ng naulan!

hindi ko tlga kinaya! ang lakas lakas! nabasa ang paa ko at ang aking bag(pronounced as baeg) ahahaha! jusko.. hndi ko tlga kinaya..

dpt kasi ihahatid kami ng pinsan ko.. ehh wla.. hindi sinasagot ang phone!

kaya nilakad namin ni mommy siya hanggang bus stop lng.. anyway.. poise pdin! ahaha! :P

what a journey it has been tlga!!

buti na lang...

2008-06-05T21:26:00.005-05:00

i feel everything's fukkd up..

74 na LANG ang pinakamataas kong makukuha sa pre-calculus.. A BIG EFFIN SHEEEEEEEEEEPPPPP for me!!

74 kung maPEPERFECT ko ang final exam... isang malaking KALOKOHAN!

iba kasi dito.. sa kanila mataas pa ang 74.. at para makapasok sa honor roll eh kailangan mo ng 80% ang average mo.. so far so gud.. may 2 ako line of 6 before dhil kadadating ko nga lang at naglalaro pa ako dito sa canada.. history un at phys-ed.. hindi ko sinabi un dhil defense mechanism dhil un ang totoo.. and the rest of my subjects are lying at line of 9 na... so no prob.. i feel papasok akong honor roll..

sa precal kaya ako nabagsak dhil natutulog ako sa klase at wala pang kwenta yung titser... hindi siya nagtuturo.. pinasasagot lng kami ng excercises at kung may hindi maintindihan.. tatanungin siya... walang sense dba? d marunong.. haha! gahhddd.. malas.. laging mali ang titser na nibabagsakan ko.. sa klase namen.. lahat mababa.. pinakamataas na ung may 80! jusko.. eh bagsak un sa mga pinoy!!

anyway.. mejo down lang ako.. and as lagi kong sinasabi.. grades lng yan.. it doesnt reflect who am i as a person.. LOL! yan ang defense mechanism.. :P i feel so down pa din..

buti na lang gud luking ako.. haha! :P

take a step against racism

2008-06-01T11:20:00.000-05:00

the maples unity group had it's 13th ananual unity march last may 28, we walked from maples to the legislative building downtown.. gahhd.. it was deim tiring.. but as i had my step to the legislative building.. it was overwhelming.. ;)

well you see, Canada is a country with a vast range of cultural diversity, from asians to europeans and from native canadians to filipinos, i could barely see how people react through each other, well, i guess racism is just a normal thing for a country like CA and joining the unity group i guess is a step for me to go against racism, coz dont you think that the world will be indeed a better place if there's no racism.. :)

for me,, racism is not a problem, as filipinos has a good image here in CA but joining the unity march I guess is something different for me, it is like a step for making a difference....

soo.. see you again next year for the 14th unity march.. :)

ohh yeah! before i forget... and.. world peace. ahha! :)�

same old brand new me?

2008-05-18T22:34:00.006-05:00

before i was a simple justin, a family centered dude who always follows his mom and dad, though sometime they differ some perceptions, they still could jive with each other. the old justin was everybody's friend, though bitchy at times, he still could call a couple of his friends in times of need and vice versa.. he always gets what he wants with so less effort... he could say that he lives in a very luxurious life enjoying every bit of blessing God could give... though crowned as a leader, justin is still dependent to his parents, he still asks for literally EVERYTHING but still understands his limits... he never crosses those limits.. for he knows that whenever one crosses some limits.. consequences will pop out without knowin that these limits have changed your entire life... the old justin never asked for more.. or for something that life couldnt give.. the old justin could say that he is indeed super happy and contented... but tickets to another world came.. hence he evolved...

the new justin is a lover... he never looked at limitations when it comes to the one he loves.. the new justin settles in a land unknown to him.. foreign land where he doesnt have anything but the assurance of his lover.. he became independent... he started to earn money so he could taste the luxury of life... he is still family oriented yet some changes were pushed to him... he is never the same old justin... yes he's got lots of friends.. but it's not the same with his friends back home... the new justin longs for the arms of his lover.. he asks for only one thing.. to be with the one he loves and enjoy the spices life could give.. but they couldn't coz they're far away... everything couldve been perfect if he never left... couldve been PERFECT... :(

**i never noticed the 2 pictures above until i looked at my gallery and a portal came right into my eyes.. doesn't it look the similar? ;)

IM not a bad person...

2008-05-10T23:30:00.004-05:00

doing so-so on precalculus and english doesn't make me a bad person...
even tho those 2 subjects are pre-requisites for the course in university that i will take..

not having my driver's license doesn't make ma a bad person...

spending lotso bucks on glasses just to get my license doesn't make me a bad person...

throwing lotso dough on rogers bill and telephone bill doesn't make me a bad person...

loving someone far away from me doesn't make me a bad person...

being a little bitchy at times doesn't make me a bad person...

skipping classes sometimes doesn't make me a bad person...

hating BIG family parties doesn't make me a bad person...

masturbating doesn't make me a bad person...

watching porn doesn't make me a bad person..

swearing doesn't make me a bad person...

living my life doesn't make me a bad person...

everything around me doesn't make me a bad person... but it always turned out to be that everything is hitting me so bad... cheer up justin.. you're just too good that's why everything around you tries to pull you down... just let them justin.. just let them.. you will have your time...

sa lahat ng problema...

2008-05-09T15:07:00.002-05:00

ayokong problema eh ang pera..

ang dming gastos.. hindi na muna siguro ako bibili ng camera.. putek... ang tanga ko kasi.. bibili kao ng glasses, babayaran ko ung rogers, tska yung shaw.. gahdd.. i feel so desperate.. :( gusto ko nlng bumalik sa pinas ng hindi ko pinoproblema ang pera, gahhd.. :(

klik!

2008-05-05T22:36:00.001-05:00

ano ang magandang camera na bilhin?

ayoko ng malaki..

gusto ko yung handy dandy! ahahaha! :) prang handy dandy notbuk lng ni steve na nabaliw daw! ahaha! :P

kababawan...

2008-05-03T00:39:00.004-05:00

uhmm.. sandali.. bumabaw ata ang kaligayahan ko nung napadpad ako dito ahh? ang lakas na ng tawa ko sa mga korny kong jokes... tas maliit na bagay parang tuwang tuwa na ako.. hindi ko ba alam.. katulad niyang sa picture.. ang saya ko nakasakay ako sa horse na dapat mga bata lng sumasakay.. ewan.. labo..

TAGGED! :D

2008-05-03T00:28:00.003-05:00

so apple tagged me and so i have to post 10 random facts about me..
since i'm so tired to think of any... uhmm.. i'll just type anything that pops out of my mind... anyway... RANDOM facts aight? and after that.. tag 10 people too! :D

1. i just typed letter R

2. i hate people shouting at me but i love shouting at people...

3. when i was on grade 1, I spell people> PEAPLE

4. i only realized that the correct spelling of PEOPLE is P-E-O-P-L-E when i was on grade 3...

5. PEAPLE is the only mistake i get whenever we have spelling activities or whatever...

6. almost died because of dengue when i was 14...

7. i love fast songs.

8. i hate breakfast.

9. im a living paradox...

10. one man man.. haha! :P

im tagging> steph, memz, jay-ar, karyl, paul and ms anne.. cnt think of other 4 people.. soo.. 6 nlng! :)

Ayayaya... Im talking way too much...

2008-04-25T20:51:00.002-05:00

"YEY!"

sa loob loob ko.. nakapasa nako ng drivers learner's test! so that must mean.. pwede nako magdrive kaya lng kailangan may supervision ng kung sinong matanda.. dhil pag ako nahuli eh hahrapin ang kung anu anung consquences chuchu... so.. after 9 months.. pede nako kumuha ng road test.. so pag nakakuha nako ng road test... pwede nako magdrive mag isa! :)

hindi ko inisip na kailan man eh matututo ako magdrive.. sbe ko kasi sa sarili ko.. yayaman ako... hindi ko kailangan matututo magdrive... so ngayon na hindi pako marunong magdrive.. kela dad muna.. not until pumunta ako dito... sa canada.. poootek! necessity ang pagdadrive, biglang nagbago pananaw ko sa pagdadrive... cool na magdrive!! ang sarap ng feeling magdrive! kahit kelan sa buhay ko eh hindi ko maimagine ang sarili ko na nagdadrive... before un.. hindi dahil panglalaki siya.. pero dahil ayaw ko lng tlga magdrive...

nagbibinata na nga ba talaga ako? nabawasan ko na rin ang oras na ginugugol ko sa paglalaro ng nintendo DS ko... compared before.. lumalaki na ata ako? :( pero hindi pa rin mawawala ung pagwawhine ko.. ahaha! so.. isip bata pa rin! :D isa pang aspeto ng pagkabata ko eh ung pananatili ko pa rin cute.. ahaha!

teka.. parang ang absurd ko.. nabobobo na ata ako?

uyy! OH-canada! tinugtog sa tv.. un ung national anthem ng CA... nakakatuwa nga un eh.. kasi dito.. bawat umaga.. tinutugtog ung oh-canada.. un ung parang bell sa school nmen.. wla kasing bell dun.. so kailangan tlga alert ka for ur next class. pero unlike sa pinas.. eh alang morning ceremony dito.. lahat lng kami tatayo sa lugar nmen.. tas aantayin matapos ung kanta..

so balik sa oh-canada, nakakatuwa siya kasi sa school, may iba ibang version... natatandaan ko jan yung nagulat tlga ako.. kasi reggae! tas kinabukasan! rock nmen! tas kahapon lang.. 2 years old naman1 binobroadcast siya sa buong skewl.. ewan.. kakaiba... ahaha!

sooo.. hanggang dito nlng.. hilo nako.. :D

Crazy little thing called love...

2008-04-18T09:39:00.003-05:00

what now? uhhmm.. we just moved in an apartment so that's a big step for us... been suffering from a crappy internet connection because we just share from a someone's wireless connection.. haha! dad doesn't want to subscribe to our own connection till we buy a new desktop.. gahh...

so... i think everybody here has been reading all about my on and off, carrot and stick relationship with jigz.. so till now.. we haven't seen each other... we still manage to hold on though... and gahh... all i know at this point is i seriously love him.. ;)

uhmm... i so wanna see him.. been thinking crazy stuffs like writing a blogpost about our story, write it on the internet, and beg for money so i could go on a vacation back to the Philippines just to be with him... our love story's quite interesting though.. haha.. watcha think? hit me when you think it's a good idea.. :)

toodles for now.. :)

an ordinary special day...

2008-04-09T23:16:00.004-05:00

before i call it a day.. i would just like to round up some things that happened thise past few moments...

im now 17... nothing much happened this day though.. i feel forgotten... compared when i was back in the philippines.. where everyone remembers it's my special day... haixx..

anyway.. everything's so different now.. back in the philippines.. where me and my family usually gets on a getaway trip during my and jas' birthday... but for this year.. NOTHING... as in nothing happened... we didnt watch even a simple 3-dollar movie.. gahhdd... i feel so down.. :(

I miss HIM..

2008-04-03T22:46:00.001-05:00

i seriously miss him... :(

UPDATE!!

2008-03-31T12:07:00.003-05:00

saw some people blog like the diary post... nainggit lang ako.. haha! anyway im like that these days hey! cnt talk about some shits going in this world tis days.. i dunno why.. maybe my creative juices has been frozen becuz of the snow! speaking of snow! it's now melting guys! yipee!! hello flip-flops, shorts and tshirts! yey!! im so excited for summer! :) we have our spring break this week until the 7th of april.. ohh! we'll be moving this friday! yikee! :)

speaking of blog... what is the essence of blogging? hooee my gahhhddd... im sorry.. becuz im only seventeen... ahaha! im just kidding.. i dont know.. for me the essence of blogging is a portal where you could say words and then find people read ur blog and and then finally... find some sense of "care" ahahahaha!:P in other words... tayong mga nagbablog eh mga kulang sa pansin! ahahaha! im just kidding.. i dont know why i blog? do you know why you blog? ahahah! :p

you really can't have everything...

2008-03-19T08:36:00.001-05:00

...

welcome spring!!!

2008-03-03T20:25:00.002-06:00

finally!! a positive temperature is just around the corner hey...! yikee! march 21st is declared to be the last day of winter and from April 1- 5.. spring break! yehey!

since i set my foot to this GLORIOUS LAND OF THE FREE I've learned a lot of things.. finally.. tama na nga yan at nauubusan nako ng dugo! hindi ako katulad nung iba dito na nakatungtong lang sa snow at nanigas ang paa eh hindi na marunong magtagalog! OO! tama ang nabasa mo! may mga taong ganun! mapagmataas! kaya ayoko nagpupunta sa mga party dito ehh.. hindi dahil sa hindi ko kaya makipagsabayan... sa katunayan talbog pa sila kahit FOB(filipino on bakasyon(ayon sa iba) filipino on board(ayon sa iba) pero kadadating pa lang ang meaning) pa rin naman.. haaiiixx...

ayoko tlga sa mgA party dito... sa dahilang hindi ko alam... it just doesnt feel right.. prang puro payabangan lang kasi... anjan pa ang sugal at binggo sa tabi kung saan nagmumukhang luksaan ang bahay... ahahaha! nwei.. la na rin akong pakialam.. wala nakong pakialam.. tama.. wala nakong pakialam...

do you know why?

2008-02-15T09:34:00.001-06:00

"And if I lived a thousand years
You know I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you
that day
but if destiny decided I should look the other way
then the world would never know
the greatest story ever told
and did I tell you that I love you
tonight"

been listening to that song the whole night...
welcomed sunrise with tears running down into my eyes...
friends. nothing to worry about...
jigz and me are ok... I'm not...
why? because i miss him so badly...
I've told you our laptop has been broken last week aight?
and the computer we're using at home has been broken also aight?
so, there's no chance of me and jigz to talk...
and the internet is like the only way for us to communicate... gahh..
i dont know.. i started too feel so desperate and so frustrated... i want to be with him SO BADLY!
... to the point that i blame God why is he like taking away every way for our relationship to work...
i started praying... "God... please... even for once... paganahin mo naman ang powers mo samin..."
uhuh.. i know it's like wrong kasi pareho kaming lalake...
but we LOVE each other... isn't that reason strong enough for us to stay together?
gaahhh... i sooo miss my baby... cant wait till the time comes when we meet again.. LIVE together..
and wake up each morning thinking just about the two of us... so can't wait till that time comes...
and as for now... even the WHOLE world tells us to hold back... i know i wont.. i know he wont...
coz that's the point of LOVE... trusting, caring and still continuing the feeling even though the whole world tells you not to... ryt?

so... how bout you? do you know why we can't be like those of other people who had their happy ending and started a new one? cmon guys! answer me! so we can end this chapter entitled "LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP" and start a new one... please?

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BLOG!!!

2008-02-14T10:45:00.002-06:00

hey blog! we've been through a lot hey! nawitness mo rin ung graduation, prom, kalandian, kasungitan, kaligaligan ko... galing mo blog! thanks for always being there for me... like etoh.. wala kaming pc sa bahay... pumupuslit lang ako ng konting oras sa media design class ko pra mabati ka ng happy anniversary blog ko... maraming maraming salamat sa lagi mong pagkinig sa akin...

MARAMING MARAMING salamat din sa mga kaibigan na patuloy na sumisilip man lang sa blog ko... hindi ko kau malilimutan... (o-ha! parang suicide or layas not lang)

haayy... wala nakong masabi.. may gagawin pako! oh basta blog! salamat ulit! at dahil one year ka na! papangalanan kitang rocky! hindi dhil favorite ko ang rocky road. pero dhil wala lang! haha! :P enough for now rocky! :)

Sa lahat ng ayaw ko...

2008-02-02T22:13:00.000-06:00

sa lahat ng ayaw ko eh ung nagiintay.. lalo na pag mukhang tanga... ung walang ginagawa... kunwari... sa mall... nagrocery kami ni mommy.. edi ang dami nming dala... tig 4 kming bags... tas ssbihin ba naman eh magwawashroom sya.. so ako.. hindi naman ako naiihi.. so ang tendency... sa labas lang ako.. magbabantay ng mga grocery bags.. ayoko ng gnun.. nagmumukha kasi akong tanga...

isa pa sa pinaka ayaw ko eh yung nilalagpak ako... yuung bibigyan ng pagasa tas di naman pala ako kasama... mas masahol pa un na nagbihis ka ng sobrang ganda.. kasi akala mo kasama ka sa lakad... hindi naman pala... ahahaha!

lalng.. nsbe ko lng... and2 ako ngaun sa media design class ko.. ng second sem.. ehh wala naman kasing ginagawa kaya sbe ni mr. stardom... pwede daw kmeng maginternet... ng kahit anu.. just enjoi the internet daw and the music chuchu... aun.. kmsta naman un? ang saya dba.. oo nga pala.. nagskip ako ng first class ko ng second sem to adjust my sched... so gling dba? skip ng first class ng second sem? ahihihi...

uhmm.. oo nga pala.. binabawasan ko na pagpilantik ng mga daliri ko at pagiging high-pitch.. ahahaha! lalng.. nsbe ko lng... 2 bes na kasi kme munti mahuli.. malayo p kme niyan ha? nahuhuli kme.. haiixx.. ang small kasi ng world... hirap gumalaw... :P

haiix.. anyway.. msya naman ako uber saya kasi kahit papano akin pa ri si jigz kanya pa rin ako.. anyway.. better days uber soon.. lalo na pag independent na kami.. ashihihi.. haixx... anyway.. till then! :)

keep going on...

2008-01-26T23:03:00.000-06:00

cant believe i've survived 1st semester in this foreign land in where everything is so unusual..

so yeah.. CREDITS!! come to papa justin! haha.. this coming week is our exam week. or hell week for others.. well.. i only got 2 exams.. choir and history.. so i'd only be coming to school tuesday for the choir exam that's only like 10 minutes... and on wednesday for history that will take my whole morning...

UGH.. weather is turning fair now.. im starting to love it.. ahihihi.. well then.. see yah.. :)

takteng physed yan!

2008-01-17T11:35:00.000-06:00

ugh.. im so not born a physically strong person... :( that's so sad.. dhil kahit san ata ako lumingon ehh lagi akong chinachallenge physically... :(

ayoko talaga mag-PE or Physed(o-ha! candian! haha!) isang dahilan na jan ayy ung kailangan pa magchange... eh dhil winter nakapants pako.. so kailangan pumnta ng change room para magpalit ng damit.. ayoko tlga pumapasok sa change room... dhil ang dami daming tao.. nakakainis... puro lalaki.. at nakakailang tlga... lalo na pag naghuhubad na silang lahat! ng tshirt lng shempre! UGH... d ako makapagconcentrate! potek na yan!! anyway.. pag magpapalit naman ako papasok ako diretso sa pinakamalapit na cubicle pra wala na rin akong makikita... kaya wala akong friends kahit isa physed kung wala dun si emeil(na tito ko) at si cie(na friend ko) silang 2 lang kasi ung pinoy na diretso pa magtagalog dun.. ayun kaya loner tlga ako pag physed...

isang dahilan pa kaya ayokong pumapasok sa physed eh... nagugulat kasi ako dun sa buzz pag tapos na magjogging or sa warm up.. may buzz kasi ang mga gym dito na ginagamit pag maybasketball game or watsoever.. d katulad sa skewl ko before na potpot lang.. haha!!

ayoko tlgang nagphyphysed.. kanina mag-1 na naman ako dun kasi wala si emeil at cie... kaya aun.. muka akong tangengot na naman.. haiixx.. katakot kasi makipaglaro dito.. napakaseryoso ng mga tao... sheesh...

LDR 101

2008-01-16T14:57:00.000-06:00

owkeii... so hindi ako nakapagupdate after some long time... gus2 ko rin naman kasi ng magandang balita kaya iniintay ko na lumipat kami sa apartment... ehh mukhang mejo matatagalan pa at sila dad eh nakakaurat at mukhang ayaw pa talagang lumipat.. putek yan!!

ok... so ayus kami ni jigz these days... after some time ng kadramahan at kung anu anu pa... naging kami rin sa huli.. enero kinse dalawanglibo'to walo... brand new start.. new promises... new vows... brand new talaga! as in brand new!! kaya lang ayun nga.. too bad LDR kme... yeshh! LDR... long distance relationship... yikee!! certified IM-ero ata toh! ahahaha!! powtek... hirap pag LDR... alam mu un.. nakakafrustrate kasi hindi kau araw araw nagkikita... hindi kau everytime magkatxt... and worse... baligtad ang timeline namin... sheesh... umaga dito. gabi dun.. hapon dito madaling araw sa pinas... anyway...

nakakainis nga ihh... kasi kung kelan ayus kami saka sila naputulan ng broadband... yikee.. tas mejo matatagalan pa yung pagpunta niya dito... kasi namublema sila sa embassy... UGH... anyway... intay lang.. hold on.. chu-chu.. and i really will... so tight to the point that i could kill... ;)

uhmm... yahh.. 3 months have passed... and guess what? nasa Canada pa rin ako! buseht na yan!! malapit na spring... nasa gitna na kami ng winter at talagang malamig tlga! nakakasira ng ulo!! nakakamatay! multo na ako ngayon... patay nako! haha! takte dito.. hindi importante kung mataas o mababa yung grade.. as long as makuha mo yung credit ayus na! eh ang makakuha ng mababang grade sa pinoy community is a VERY BIG SHAME!! oo! kasing laki ng mall of asia! pootek... canadian history.. dang baba!!!! bwiset! ang dahilan pa nung bitch na titser... hindi daw ako pumasok nung first sem... kaya daw walang basis ng grade ko! sheesh... bullshit tlga...

... prang nung retarded na batang babae lang dito... na pilay pag naaalala niyang pilay siya... pero pag hindi nya naalala.. nakakalakad ang loka! hahaha! kabuset ehh! nasa media class nga pala ulit ako ngayon.. 2 oras na nakaburo ung pwet ko dito.. haaiixx...

gusto ko ng umuwi ng pinas... or rather... hilahin dito papunta si jigz.. pra magkita na kami!! yikee.. miss na miss ko na un.. ughhhh... haaiixx.. anyway... ang sakit na ng balikat ko dhil kanina eh sa weight room ako... self directed day kasi dito.. ur free to do whatcha wanna do... pwera makipagsex at pumatay ng tao... eh kailangan ng 4 period ng selfd.(o-ha! canadian! self-d!) kaya nasa weight room ako... hindi naman ako nagbuhat.. nandun lng ako.. nakatunganga.. haha!

anyhow... wala na tlga akong maisip.. ay yung friendster ko nga pala.. kinancel ko na ung account... at may joint account n kme ni jigz... haha! www.friendster.com/teniggy15 ayan.. kung add niu kung gus2 niu...

uhmm.. till then... :)

I HOPE YOU HAD A WONDERFUL FIVE HUNDRED "TWEN'NY" 5 THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED MINUTES!!

2007-12-31T20:27:00.000-06:00

because i did.. and im so sure that i'm going to another one this coming year.. yikee!! i know I became better, bigger and bolder because of what happoened to me the year that came... haaixx.. how i wish it is always liek this for us.. yikee!!

"Anyway, he uh... he gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, Those were the best years of his life, 'cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn't learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you're 18... Ah, think of the suffering you're gonna miss. I mean high school? High school-those are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that."

-frank, little miss sunshine

"A loser is someone afraid of winning they wont even try..."

-richard, little miss sunshine

"There's two kinds of people in this world, there's winners and there's losers. Okay, you know what the difference is? Winners don't give up. "

-richard, little miss sunshine

"Life is like the surf, just give away yourself like the sea..."

-Luisa, y tu mama tambien

"The end depends upon the beginning..."

-Emperor's new club

HAPPY NEW YEAR EBLIBADI!!! :)

WHY US?

2007-12-29T09:57:00.000-06:00

...

if there will be one question that i wanna ask everybody including God... that would be WHY US?

fate? destiny? why this kind? a thing that i could not bare... and all i can do is cry and weep... even though i promised i wont... still i cant stop... all i can lean on is that action... so i can feel much more better...

how bout you? could you answer... WHY US? nahhh... even though you can answer my question... that couldn't change a thing... he will still be... NVM... i promised not to tell anybody... including my personal blog...

UGH! that sucks... :(

have you ever?

2007-12-28T20:56:00.000-06:00

... felt like holding into a grip and suddenly... a fairy waves her wand and then you wake up... and you'll know.. that everything you've been holding on into is just thin air... and you fall... fall to the point that you'd rather die than live?

... I did...

talk about earning...

2007-12-20T10:48:00.000-06:00

sheesh! NRG research group cancelled all my shifts for the whole week, that's why guess what? I DONT HAVE WORK FOR THE WHOLE WEEK! they simply lack projects for everybody, they lack hours for all agents, anyway... at least im finish with my christmas list, all im worrying nowe is the boxing day happening next week!! I've got no money!! and the trip im preparing to meet up with my baby... *blush*

anyway... at least(again) i spent more time talking to my baby and to some people;... Ohhh yah.. MS. atheneum was held in school today, i got to talk to the whole 607, the whole batch was like actually there, but chempre, di naman maiiwasan na may mawala, haaixx... i soo miss those guys...

know what? i feel so glad, ecstatic and overwhelmed these days... coz me and my baby were like back to normal, back like our first weeks, so sweet and well loved and loving, yah.. he'll be here like in 3 days time... yipeee!! im so excited! and i just cant hide it.. anyway.. i just miss him and i wanna make him feel my love, or just look at him or just hold hands with him gaahhhdd!!! or simply just spend time wasting time with him. :P anyway... we're both looking for ways to make our relationship stronger, and now? it's only time that passes on our way... :)

christmas time is rapidly approaching, anyway, im prepared on it.. :)

anu kaya kung hindi ako umalis ng pinas?

2007-12-13T09:38:00.000-06:00

nagaaral sa isang magandang school na may slack na subjects, kumikita ng reasonable amount ng pera sa isang akenjoy enjoy na work at nakikipag-chill sa mga friends na naearn ko na rin dito ay ilan lang sa mga bagay na nagagawa ko dito sa CA. eh panu kaya kung hindi ako umalis ng pinas? naisip ko lang...

kung hindi nagapply ang mga magulang ko dito sa CA, siguro nanunuod ako ngayon ng maalaala mo kaya sa pinas dahil friday ng madaling araw na dun, wala ang dad ko sa bahay dahil nasa abroad siya at nagtatrabaho, ang mum ko naman at dalawa kong kapatid eh 2log na, at katxt ko siguro si jigz habang nanunuod ng maalaala mo kaya...

kakauwi ko lang galing UST dahil nagaaral ako duon ng advertising, uber saya ko sa mga subjects ko, simple lang buhay ko pag may pasok, at dahil weekends ngayon eh pinauwi ako sa bahay ni mommy... bukas eh saturday, magogrocery kami as always, like ng ginagawa namin before, tas after magrocery eh manunuod ng sine, this time it's different, kasama na namin si jigz, kilalang kilala na nila mommy si jigz dahil 2months na nga naman kami ni jigz at lagi siyang sumasama sa lakad ng pamilya at lagi chempre ako lagi rin sumasama sa mga lakad nila ni tita, ang alam ng pamilya namin eh bestfriends kami pero we're more than that, haha! pag-sunday naman, hindi kami nagkikita kasi pareho kami nagchuchurch, aus lng, magkatxt pa din kami...

tas pag weekdays naman, parheo kami ng school, pareho din kami ng schedule kaya hindi nagcaclash ang oras namin, labas nmen everyday is 11 oklak, after school, magkasama na kami buong araw or minsan nmn pag busy, kasama niya friends niya, si rob naman ang kasama ko, kung san san kami napunta, at ang dami na naming napuntahan... ung mga plans nmen before na puntahan eh napuntahan na namin at ngayon, hirap kami magisip kung anung gus2 namin bagong puntahan, wala naman kaming pera...

mag mi-ms. a nga pala sa december 20, pupunta halos buong batch, hindi dapat ako mawala, matagal ko na rin hindi nakikita sila thea kaya kailangan pumunta din ako dun...

nagpaplano na rin siguro ng inom sila rob ngayon like nung ginawa namin before, tlgang di kme na2log at usap usap lang kami sa aming bisyohan. sa mascardo... si jigz naman... ma22log ako sa kanila after christmas hanggang birthday niya.. para masaya! aus lng kela mum... malaki tiwala nila kay jigz... haha!!

gnun pa din ang buhay ko, monotonous, school-jigz-dorm-bahay. aun... un lng nagbago, masaya naman kasi ngayon eh may nadagdag na sa kwento ko, may nagmamahal sakin at tlgang minamahal ko rin... maayos ang studies ko at alam kong may patutunguhan na ang buhay ko...

pero wala eh... kung nasa pilipinas lang ako niyan.. eh siguro hanggang pangarap nlng yan... nasa Canada na ako eh, ibang iba na ang buhay ko before, weh hindi ko na nga mabigyan ng oras ang sarili ko.. pero bakit ganun? hindi parin makita nung mga bagay na binibigyan ko ng oras na importante rin sila sa akin? kung gan2 lang rin ang mangyayare... sana hindi na lang ako umalis ng pinas... sana nananaginip na lang ako ngayon at magising na... ng makasama ko ang gus2 ko makasama sa buong buhay...

pero hindi... Canada na ang buhay ko ngayon, huhukayin ko na lang siguro ang makapal na nyebe para makita ang sarili ko... pero alam ko... makikita ko rin ang sarili ko.. at ang paraan upang makasama ang taong gus2 ko makasama habang buhay...

tinamaan ng homesick yan!!

2007-12-06T11:28:00.000-06:00

takte, libreng internet dito sa media tech class ko, beh tapos nako sa mga gawaing libro kaya anung ggwin ko dito? magjakol? IDTS(hmf ang arte!) beh dang daming tao! so magboblog nlang ako... :)

"in a land, full of bitches, there's a man, sending kisses, a beautiful sight, so happy tonight, walking in the bitchywonderland!!"

yan ang mga nagagawa npag homesick ka, maikli lang tong post ko beh naisip ko lng yang kantang yan tska yung nakausap ko nung tuesday na respondent sa work...

...

sa isang simpleng research tungkol sa mga casino at entertainment sa NRG...

ako: Ma'm could you please describe me your ethnic origin?

mam: OHHH!!(tuwang tuwa!) my ethnic origin is fine... very fine indeed!

ako: (natatawa na hindi ko alam kung maiinis o mahihiya dahil alam kong pinay siya dahil pagbigkas niya ng "CASINO" eh "KASINO" !)mam are you asian? caucasian... canadian?

mam: im asian..

ako: ok ma'm those are all my questions for you tonight thank you and have a great evening!

mam: Oh wait a sec(o-ha! sosyal ang ateng may fine ethnic origin!) are you a filipino?

ako: ay opo! cge po! maraming salamat po ulit at maligayang pasko!

mam: salamat din! at maligayang pasko rin!

dooooooooottttt!!

haay.. sarap makakausap ng kababayng sa telepono sa survey, eto naman si ate eh! d ko tuloi alam kung anu ang irereaksyon ko sa kanya, d ko alam kung mahihiya ako o matutuwa dhil sinabi niyang fine ang ethnic origin natin! ahahahay!! kaloko!!

wala rin nga palang pulang hotdog dito. wahahaha! lahat brown@ hmf! wag green minded dhil green ang grass!! wala lng tlgang tender juicy at swift at kung anu anu pa dito! hahahaha! :P

l'art de laisser va

2007-12-02T05:49:00.000-06:00

ever wondered how fast a happy person recovers from a failed relationship?
no need.. im gonna tell you now...

a happy person obviously wants to make sure that everything is happy, everything is ok, even if it's not, even if he or she is sacrificing hypocrisy and his or her own feelings. he pretends that he has moved on but no matter what aspect you view the situation, he is hurt.

been so emotional in the past few weeks, cried a gallon an a half, and bled bottles of blood literally and figuratively because of some crappy things that i've been through in the past few weeks. but yes, time can really do heal the wounds, add the factor of space, we are faraway from each other that's why it was easier for me to move on.

yes people, i've moved on, i have no one new, it's just that i realized that everything must be enough for now, time will tell. but as a quote says...

"once you've undergo a failed relationship, the pain is always left unaided, everyone thinks you've moved on but you'll later realize you never stopped loving them. you just learn how to live without them..."

i think that is true, because, yea, i admit, i never did stopped loving him, but then he says...

"love is to give and to give until it hurts, so dont blame yourself if you love the other at your best and he only gives you half, because in the end, at least you can say you loved more."

i really dont know... so enough with those emoshits. hahaha!! anyways, we stayed as bestfriends... YEA PEOPLE WHO KNOWs ME!! I NOW HAVE A BESTFRIEND!! THEREFORE... I AM WEAK!!

sheesh... anyway... expect happy posts to come... because i'm really enjoying my stay here CA.. but yeah.. i still miss Philippines...

"you've been very kind for me. you gave me help when i have nothing. but i am hurt and i know you are too, it's even more difficult for you because i know you are confused, but if letting go will make things better, i'd be willing to sacrifice myself, just for you're happiness. goodluck to you and him, you now have your fairytale ending... :)"

let it snow!! let it snow!! let it snow!!

2007-11-24T06:20:00.000-06:00

children singing christmas carols not in tune, houses vieing for "THE HOUSE THAT HAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DECORATION BUT BOOMING ELECTRIC BILL" title, puto bonbong and bibingka, ang mga nagsisimbang labas, the sparkling and beautiful parol and most of all, the family that i have in Pinas... some of the things that i miss the most...

i've noticed that a lot of my friends tell me things like... "wow! ang saya naman! nagsosnow na!" things when i am telling them that it's already snowing, i constatntly tell them... "anung masaya sa snow? negative 20 degrees? masaya ba un?" yes guys... the temperature here is seriously so cold that it can seriously kill you, that added to the thought of being homesick.

here, you really can appreciate small things like, the snow's pattern, or the star at night, or just the moon, coz you can only see those things like once in a blue moon, i also miss the parols, and the chickens that goes kukurukokooo in the morning to wake you up... you've got no chickens here... you hafta wake up by urself... there.. i now have the sense of independence... no wonder all americans are independent...

anyway... holidays are coming... and yeah.. some of my relatives also arrived last night... it seems that just yesterday, we are the ones going down that escalator in the same airport... wow... cant imagine how time flies so fast... does this mean that i am enjoying here in canada? with my friends here? why shouldn't I?

i've got lots of plans this christmas to cover lonely things up... i'd buy myself a laptop, sort of a gift for my self and i'd like go to somewhere this january with my friends... just to forget things...

oh before i forgot... i really hate dull moments here in canada... it gives me the time to reflect and realize that yea... i'm alone again... cold, lonely and incomplete... :(

prayer of a broken hearted...

2007-11-21T16:03:00.000-06:00

Dear God...

i've been through a lot these days, through ups and downs in where i faced the valleys of my problems alone. since i met this guy my world has never been the same, and it became worse when he left me hanging, i expected much from him but i ended up getting hurt.

Nobody wants to get hurt but people always do hurt, i know i am always making mistakes and sinning but this time i know i'm on the right side, not that i'm washing my hands but it's like everybody is saying that, i really did forgot about myself and always kept on thinking about our situation.

I had enough God, staying with him is like an attempt to suicide, the hurt he's caused has been enough, and now im carrying it and will carry it.

please help me God to get over this feeling to prevent me to do anything hurtful to anybody, you know me GOd when i'm mad and now i am mad at him... he made me mad at him... so God, please just give me the strength to stop myself from doing anything...

anyway, God, thank you for making our paths cross, in a way, he taught me so much things, he even made me stronger, but i had enough and i did lost my grip, i just want youre guidance and companionship, God... thank you for always being there...

-Justin

walking in the winter wonderland!!

2007-11-18T17:10:00.000-06:00

ok... now it's winter.. and those white things you see on my face is SNOW... weee!
it's now so cold outside... not to mention the coldness i feel inside...

"finally!" as my parents says as they think of having their white christmas... yes it's holiday season... and i think im gonna be alone... AGAIN...

well i think God has really trained me to be with just my family every single christmas.. i dont know why...

anyway.. every house has their decorations on theirs now.. so it added to the feeling of being homesick..if i have like 5k bucks by summer... i'd go back to the Philippines and spend money there... haay...

oh.. before i forgot... "have you ever felt that feeling where you felt empty and not enough in spite of giving everything?"

well... i dont wanna talk about that any further... i hope everything will be so clear soon... as clear and as white as the snow could bring... uggh... december 25... december 25...

ohh yeah.. i got my first paycheck yesterday... and they say i got a big one... :) anyway.. i shopped for a jacket earlier and can't find myself some earmuffs... i wanna find EARMUFFS! and on saturday.. im gonna buy a scarf and ice cream cake for everybody... well that's a nice treat for myself.. yes i do deserve a treat for myself... been forgetting JEREMY MERCADO lately... :)

talk about multi-talented

2007-11-14T22:25:00.000-06:00

whew! my life is so on a fast phase this days...
yesterday i had a chorale-fest in the choir... yah we sang on one of the church here in winnipeg and hell we so had a great performance! we even had an invitation telling us to go to vancouver to sing there! waahhhh!! hahaha!

and today we had a practice for my aunt's cotillon, and hell... it's so my first time to dance professional salsa routine and it's so hard and we do so much liftings that ughh.. it's making me feel so exhausted...

and for the whole year... i got a short film project for film studies... i hafta do a short film about anything under the sun and pass it on maybe january.. it's fun!! super fun!!

and yah.. one thing that's why i am so able to do things like this... TIME MANAGEMENT... right jigz? hahaha...

anyway.. im still finding some time to update this blog and chill.. and guess what? i will have my first pay cheque on friday! weee!! hihihi! im so excited! :D
im gonna buy myself a coat, a cellphone for dad, chocolates for mom (because that's what they asked me), and ice cream cake for the whole family! weeee! im so excited!

we got no classes on friday that's why you will find me online on that day... hehe... for now.. au revoir! :)

MARKED

2007-11-13T00:44:00.000-06:00

ever since i entered this unusual relationship of mine and jigz... i learned a lot.. i can see i grew more mature... i've seen things on a different aspect... world was colored with love and care... and i was never alone again...

we've been through a lot of things this past week... and those things are too personal to tell on this public blog... we should just keep it to ourselves... all we know is we're happy that we have each other and every odd will just make us even...

he is the person that i want to spend my whole life with... a person who sees me fully... a person who loves me... a person who sees every angle of my life... a person who became my life... i left the world that i grew up with... and am spending the rest of my life with him.. no matter what happens...

it may be silly to think that we are far away from each other yet we're loving one another... think again friend... being physically present doesn't mean everything.. yes we're missing a lot of things but i know.. we will have our time.. and that's so soon... and besides... i can feel him and his love even though we're far away...

i'll just keep on holding on... forever and ever baby.. as we promised... walang iwanan... i love you...

im working on a call center...

2007-11-06T22:54:00.000-06:00

"hello this is justin from NRG research group, we are conducting a study among adults 18 years of age or older about roadside services, insurance companies and leisure travels, may i speak with the person 18 years of age or older whos at home now?"

a phrase over used by urs truyl these days... yes guys... im working as a call center agent and it's one tiring work! gahhd... im like talking for about 5 hours saying those things and i only get like 5 people to take the survey.. WTF? 5/190 calls? sheeshhhh....

i called a person earlier and they were like playing with me... they made me talk to the dog, and to a baby and they were so crazy! now i know the feeling of call center agents when they are dumped by people...

now please.. if a call center agent calls you... asking for your time to take their survey... please take the survey for it is really hard to look for respondents... please?!? do it for me?? :)

got my firsts twice.

2007-11-04T18:18:00.000-06:00

I had my orientation and my training for work yesterday! yipee! im working now, earning 9bucks per hour, working 5hrs in 5days. :) yipee! i'd be earning sooooo super lots!! :D so that's my first... first work.. they say i got a good background coz my first work is like good... yey! :D oh.. nga pala.. i work as a call center agent in NRG research group. we make surveys and outbound calls... kaya pag may tumawag sa inyo from NRG, take niu ung survey! hahaha! :D

tas attended my first party here... children's party... all i can say.. tupperware... haay..

jigz is 50/50 on going this january nga pal.. pero next year nagassure na sya sakin na he'll be going.. im hella missing him... ughhh... :(

my first trick or treat!

2007-11-01T07:37:00.000-05:00

we've got self directed wednesday in school yesterday!! i watched psycho in the morning and shutter in the afternoon! yea and it was fun... but my day's highlight was not that... it was the HALLOWEEN TRICK OR TREAT they practice here in Canada!!

so got home early like 2-ish and waited for my realtives to come home so we could go trick or treatin! woohooo! trick or treat was fun!

we went to garden city, a mall here, but they wont give me candies because im too old! that's so embarassing, when i said, "trick or treat!" to the old lady, she said, "how old are you?" "16" "oh the candies are just for the kids" crap! that's embarrassing! haha!

ohh.. as you can see i am a vampire! haha!! sooo... it was soooo cold outside but we are still going on trick or treat! we dont wanna miss the candies ok?

i got a bag full of candies and i really enjoyed a lot! weee!! looking forward for the next trick or treat! yippeee!! :)

first day of school.. now this is true...

2007-10-29T16:01:00.000-05:00

i got my first day of school earlier and gahhd it's soooo tiring...
grade 11 here is like college there and we get to pick our class....
im afraid that i may not go to college coz the teachers there didnt told me that i hafta get specific subjects so i can go to a university... ugh..
so i got like 5 class this 1st sem... PE ed. film studies, media technolog, choir and canadian history.. our school is a slack... gaah.. but it's so fun...

in my school in the philippines, i can say that i have the power to rule the hallways... but there... it's different, i cnt bully guys, i hafta set aside when anyone is goin... ugh... i just hate that... but still... i love school here...

there are so many filipino people there that's why it's not that hard to adjust, school's school and very BIG!! gaahd, i got lost on my second class, haha... i hate PE.. so much...

gahhdd... i so miss my baby... i wanna be with him... ugh...

maybe next sem i'd be suffering from major subjects, like pre calc, chem and physics, and becuz phis. is like advanced, they say i wont get a hard time on those subjs... i hope..

film studies is super fun! i get to watch old films... 81 year old films... gaah.. and i get to make films... weee... and with media technology, i get to make animations and cartoons and it's also fun...

ugh.. i miss my baby... :) and yah good news! my aunt said that film industry is in toronto.. and my baby is in toronto... weeee!! i should be studying there... ugh.. hafta talk to parents about that...

uhmm.. and yah.. i got some compliments from school and the only thing i can remember is.... "good english," haha! it's lke said a lot of times and i so love it... thanks to ms anne m. and the english class i took before goin here.. haha... :D

ugh! so damn missing philippines.

2007-10-26T16:03:00.000-05:00

guess im still on the adjusting stage. gaahhhdddd..... i wanna go back to the Philippines... ayoko na dito. wala akong kakilala, wala akong kahit sinong friend, wala kaming sariling bahay, walang wala kami!! sheeet.... ayoko na... naiinis tlga ako... gus2 kong bumalik ng pinas... feel ko walang magiging direksyon ang buhay o dito... naiiyak ako... ayoko n tlga... pifffttt....

isa pa... uber gus2 ko kong makasama si jigz... feeling ko ang daming nawawala sakin pag hindi ko siya kasama... ang dami kong gustong gawin kasama siya... pero hindi ko magawa dahil nandito ako!! pathetic talaga... haaay... gusto ko ng umuwi ng pinas!! ayoko na dito...

hindi ko kailangan ng malinis na hangin, low crime rate, high paying jobs, malamig na weather, at maraming pera!! pinas ang kailangan ko! si jigz ang kailangan ko!! nangungulila ako sa pinas! gus2 ko ng bumaik! pathetic tlga.... :(

3 songs runnin as of this moment.

2007-10-24T06:05:00.000-05:00

Bless The Broken Road- Rascal Flats

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I wanna grow old with you - westlife

Another day
Without your smile
Another day just passes by
But now I know
How much it means
For you to stay
Right here with me

The time we spent apart will make our love grow stronger
But it hurt so bad I can't take it any longer

I wanna grow old with you
I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna grow old with you
I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you
Sharing everything you do
I wanna grow old with you

A thousand miles between us now
It causes me to wonder how
Our love tonight remains so strong
It makes our risk right all along

The time we spent apart will make our love grow stronger
But it hurt so bad I can't take it any longer

I wanna grow old with you
I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna grow old with you
I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you
Sharing everything you do
I wanna grow old with you

Things can come and go I know but
Baby I believe
Something's burning strong between us
Makes it clear to me

I wanna grow old with you
I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna grow old with you
I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you
Sharing everything you do
I wanna grow old with you

The gift - jim brickman
winter snow is falling down
children laughing all around
lights are turning on
like a fairy tale come true

sitting by the fire we made
you're the answer when i prayed
i would find someone
and baby i found you

all i want is to hold you forever
all i need is you more every day
you saved my heart
from being broken apart
you gave your love away
and i'm thankful every day
for the gift

watching as you softly sleep
what i'd give if i could keep
just this moment
if only time stood still

but the colors fade away
and the years will make us grey
but baby in my eyes
you'll still be beautiful

all i want is to hold you forever
all i need is you more every day
you saved my heart
from being broken apart
you gave your love away
and i'm thankful every day
for the gift

(instrumental)

all i want is to hold you forever
all i need is you more every day
you saved my heart
from being broken apart
you gave your love away
i can't find the words to say
that i'm thankful every day
for the gift

**
ang love nga naman...

lots and lots of adjustments!!! :)

2007-10-23T11:44:00.000-05:00

im startin to live the Canadian way.. yehey... been sleeping straight na sa night... 12 am-7am.. dat's gewd. d katulad yesterday na i woke up 4am. teehee.. been missin jigz so much.. anyway.. we'll be seing each other probably january 3.. if i'd have the money... coz winter break's like december 22- jan 6.. so i'd be spending a week with him and be absent at school for maybe 2 days.. weee!! im so excited.. :)

and yah.. my diction.. been talkin so much english lately... my cuzin-like aunts who owns the house we're stayin in is talkin straight english.. only the eldest(ate christine) could understand that much tagalag. that's why we realy hafta speak in english.. instead of saying gotta go... i say.. i guh to go... hehe... and.. instead of saying... wait... im gonna eat that.. i say.. wahy.. ima eeah thah... haha.. so kinda slang-ish.. love it! haha..

anyway.. i'd be going to school this monday and maybe work also for monday.. we got cotillon practies on wednedays.. quite busy neh?

finding him-oh!

2007-10-21T12:42:00.000-05:00

OMG guys!! im here in canada.. borrowing my aunt's computer... i cnt use the computer that much though... anyway.. pictures from the trip is going to be in my multiply soon... i'm not blogging about my trip.. i'll be bloggin about him... :D

it was wednesday before i leave when this someone sent me a smile in friendster... so becuz of his "cuteness" i also sent him a message and that started something from us... we talked in ym and texted for i think until 3 o'clock in the morning... the next day.. Thursday.. we saw each other at the mall... i felt dumb coz i was lateon our first date... im like OMG!! i'll be leaving in two days ok? i still hafta meet my closest friends...

we watched a movie at the mall and as i expected... i felt comfortable with him.. been talking to him for 3 hours straight... been lovin him...

well you see guys.. before i met him... i told myself that i'm into no commitments... im afraid that i won't make it... i'm afraid i wont keep that promise... but after i met this guy... all things turned upside down.. i do things i haven't done before and it felt fun...

after i met him.. i ate my own words.. i told my mom i wont love people my same sex but i love him... and other things i cant tell here.. just some things between us...

so continue with the story... friday.. one day before i leave... my parents won't allow me to go out.. but i told my friends and also him that we should meet... my parents allowed my to go out until 5pm... but i came home 10... haha!! so there... i met up with him again and had fun... we watched a m0vie and played dota... im not good at that but he is... haay...

we told each other not to sleep until i leave so we could still talk... and yea.. we talked all morning... and now.. im here in a cold place.. still longing, missing and loving him...

haay.. he'll go to vancouver in december... i'll meet him there...

gawd! it's so cold here... 4 degrees? my gawd! according to the people here.. that 4 degrees is not that cold haha!! anyway.. 4 degrees or no 4 degrees.. im still missin him...

to my one and only jigz: been lovin you so deeply.. it doesn't seem that we've only met each other for like 5 days.. it's like 5 years... my GAWD! i so love you... i miss you so deeply... dont worry... i'll keep my promise.. hope you can keep yours... love yeah... :D

blog leave...

2007-10-09T05:46:00.000-05:00

so we've got 1 week to prepare for the trip... err...
going to canada is like a carrot and stick for me... but no matter what.. it's a price i hafta pay...

my sched's so hectic this days... our family is so busy packing things for the trip, but that is not the only reason why i'll be on a blog leave...

our high-speed broadband will be cut tomorrow... i guess if im gonna update my blog or friendster account, i hafta suffer from the slow connection dial-up prepaid cards are offering... sheesh. i hate slow services... i hate waiting...

so next satuday will be the day.. see you till my next post. :D good luck for me.

bad trip.

2007-10-08T07:11:00.000-05:00

anu bang dapat ipagparty pag aalis ka na? masaya ba ang tao dahil aalis ka na?

sobrang naiinis ako sa mga taong sinasabihan ko na aalis nako next week tas ang ibabatong tanong sakin eh kung may party ba? ugh. yes, feel ko may pagkakamali rin ako na magbanggit nung mga nakaraang araw ng party, pero hindi ako nagiinvite, hindi ako nagbibigay ng detail about dun, kung baga pahapyaw lang, naiinis akong talaga.

bakit yung ibang taong sabihan kong

"ui aalis nako sa 20."

eh ang isasagot sakin...

"o tlga? mamimiss kita... ingat ka doon ha!"

at yung iba naman na minsan lang ata makaranas ng party, ang sagot ay...

"o? kelan party?"

parang ang sakit sa side ko... anu bang dapat ipagparty? dhil ba aalis nako? masaya kayong aalis ako ganun ba? kaya gus2 nilang magparty? ugh... magastos ang umalis. at wala na kaming pera para sa party! pulubi na kami! baka mamalimos lang kami doon! hindi ba nila naiintindihan yon?

sana pala hindi ko na nga lang ipinagkalat na aalis nako. lyk nga ng sinabi ko sa mga una kong sinabihan... wag na wag nilang mababanggit na aalis nako. para magalit yung mga hindi ko sinabihan at magkalimutan na lang kami... sana ganun na lang nga... ng wala ng humingi saking ng party...

when gluttony strikes!!

2007-10-05T04:35:00.000-05:00

tumataba na ako!! hindi niyo lang alam kung anu ang feeling ng dating patpatin tas tataba! ayoko maging chubby!! ayoko maging huggable! ayoko maging kamukha si jollibee!! pero kailangan kong tanggapin na tumataba na ako. ako ay 55.8kg sa umaga at 57.1kg sa gabi. ugh! whatta nightmare!

sa kabila ng lahat ng pagkatakot kong tumaba... kaya ko pa rin umubos ng 5 quarter pounders from mcdonalds, upsize fries at coke yun ha. tila sumuko na ang mabilis kong metabolism, wag naman sana. masarap kasi yung calamares sa tapat ng street namin!

kilala ako ng marami na hindi sporty, wala akong kasport-sport sa katawan, pero sumasayaw ako kahit papano, kaya siguro ako tumataba, isa pa ay pupunta na kami sa canada. baka lalo na ako tumaba doon, danlalaki ng damit nila doon eh, kailangan makibagay, ayoko tumaba! natatakot ako!

kung tutuusin, swerte talaga ako, kasi hindi ako yung tabain, mabilis ang metabolism ko, ang swerte ko! pero feel ko, naabuso ang aking fresh na katawan kaya parang sumuko siya! nagkakaron ako ng bilbil! kailangan ko ng abs! hindi umeepek ang sauna belt na bnili namin sa channel 9!!

nwawala na ang aking jaw line, napakanecessary pa naman nun sa isang model, bibihira ang model na d mashadong kita ang panga, bihira rin ang model na may malalaking pisngi! pero ung malaking pisngi hindi dahil sa malakas ako kumain, pinaglihi kasi ako kay tweety at sa pisngi ng mangga. ugh! nakakainis! pag dating ko ng canada mag ggym tlga ako! malamig dun, mahirap pagpawisan, kaya kailnagn ko maggym.

hindi ako nagbebreakfast, tamang ulam at rice lng sa tanghali, 30pesos na calamares at isang banana que sa hapon, minsan quarter pounder, at konting food sa gabi. ayus lng naman ang food ko dba? bukod pa pala diyan ang mga palihim kong dukot ng chocolate sa ref at ang pagpasok ko ng 2 cream-o sa kwarto... haaaayyyy!! ang hirap maging health at body conscious! at ang hirap iispell ng conscious. haaay...

isa na lang ang iisipin ko para di nako kumain ng madami, maraming nagugutom sa mundo. magtira naman ako para sa kanila! katulad na lang nung ale at 2 niyang apo kahapon sa mall..

may inaantay kasi kami ng tatay at nanay ko sa food court, may isang ali na umupo udn sa table sa malapit samin, may dala siyang isang tropical hut na meal na para sa isa lang. maya-maya, nakita ko may 2 bata na siyang sinusubuan nung food. unti-unting nakurot ang puso ko, putsa! yung meal na yun kulang pa sakin! sa kanilang 3 pa kaya? yun na lang ang iisipan ko. nakita rin un ng parents ko pero d na namin natulungan, after kasi nila kumain eh tumingin yung lola sa fone-book, yung bilihan ng cellphone accessories? sosyal si lola diba! gus2 ng lawit-lawit sa cp niya!

err... kailangan ko talaga magpapayat!! ang sabi nila, maganda daw pampapawis ang sex. ung mga patpatin kaya eh araw-araw nakikipagsex? kung oo... pumayat nga sila nanuyot naman sila! err...

the child who has it all...

2007-09-30T21:18:00.000-05:00

i grew up in a family awake that the world is not an easy place to live in. it is something that we have to suffer, my parents always tell me that "hindi tayo mayaman" thing-y so I could always remember that yes, we are just ordinary people who eats 3 times a day or more and I have no right to experience so MUCH luxury in life. My father is an engineer abroad and my mother is a group manager of a popular fast food chain. quite high paying jobs neh? But my parents remained humble even though they get much than what we need.

12 years before, I was spoiled as hell, they give me anything I want, that's reasonable coz i am the only child, of my parents, my grandparents, aunts and uncles, the whole family! that's why whenever I ask for something, they give it to me in a snap or else, a charming little baby would get mad at them and dont talk to them, won't sing for them and won't dance for them, and not doing those things for them is like hell. I even remember i've got a blue drum full of toys back when i was alone, not until my brother came, he ruined the "give everything to justin" thing, but yeah, i am happy to have him, now i've got a brother to share everything i have with.

after 6 years, life must've have noticed that everything is enough for justin, and life gave us another brother, now, there's three of us, but it's not a problem, my parents remained equal, when they buy this for me, they'll also buy this for my two brothers, that's why we always have 3 sets of kiddie meal. haha...

I left childhood and also left the toys for my 2 brothers, i took my buying powers to the next level and asked for gadgets, and being a teenager, my parents understands everything about me, they give me what i want because they know that i've been raised to the "hindi tayo mayaman" thought, in which i truly adore and respect.

my 2 brothers are still at the "toys stage" that's why I still have no problem asking my parents to buy things that i want... yes we're not rich but im happy that my parents can still manage to give us what we want and show love through means of those things, not mentioning the love they give us by always being there for us... i've got love from my family, material things, trusty friends, God and time for myself, i guess i truly am a child who has it all... i guess when you say you have it all, you are contented whith what you have, with those things above, is there a reason for me not to be contented? i think there's no way...

maybe when i get over this gadget level, i'll ask for something else, duh? change is inevitable... hehe...

and why on earth am i posting a thing like this? people.. say hello to my N70!! yehey!! too bad for the haters, i guess they would be seeing my face on the posts to come. :D anybody know's where could i download themes? haha. :D

spell fuchsia!

2007-09-28T07:25:00.000-05:00

i went at the mall earlier with my english class friends and after that, i ate dinner with someone that ruined my day... yeah... off with that someone... we're okay now... but im not... i still feel sad and down... let's continue my blogpost...

the oscars-nominated pagdadalaga ni maximo oliveros, bath house, twilight dancers, the award winning rome and juliet... familiar films isn't? yeah... those are just some of pinoy made pink-films... films tackling issues about extradordinary people... yeah... gays and lesbians... now finally... I saw another english gay film aside from "no ordinary love," and now it's commercialized... i'm talkin about chuck and larry...

at first, the movie may look straight and masculine but when the story reaches it's middle part... gays and lesbians doing anti-sexist rally, traditionalists answering the group's rally. beware for the people who will watch the film, i'll be spoiling it any minute now...

Larry is a single father that is afraid that he might die tomorrow and no one will be watching his kids, so to get an insurance or something, he told Chuck his problem and how he could help. Because larry saved chuck from a near-death experience, chuck wants to repay larry for saving his life and for being a bestfriend. larry told chuck that they should declare a domestic partnership so if larry dies, chuck will be responsible for his kids and the money he could get. now the twist is, there was a gay couple before them that filed a domestic partnership to fool the US gov't and get money from an insurance. that's why investigation officers came to see larry and chuck's lifestyle and see if they are really into each other. at the end, they were proven that they are not gay and the two jsut had a connivance to get the insurance. and the next thing that happened... i dont want to tell...

generally, i love the movie. it's a comedy that every teen would enjoy...
one part that i love from the movie is when chuck and larry's boss was explaining something and he said something meaningful like...

misha-mishu-mish-bish-bash-bosh-mash-momomo-mamama- "it doesn't matter what we are, the most important thing is how we live."

something like that...

i laughed for almost 1 hour just watching the film coz it has a good script and adam sandler is a very good actor!! :D

hahaha... off for now... tata!

i feel so down...

2007-09-27T06:28:00.000-05:00

i've been wanting to write something but something is bothering me. and i dont know what that second something is. sheesh. that is really driving me crazy, i feel so sad to the point that i wanna cry but i cant cry, i feel too low but i dont know what the heck is the reason!! sheesh... i think i'll go to the mall tomorrow... ugh... watch a movie alone.... i feel so sad i wanna eat ice cream!!!! :( double dutsch and cookies and cream! i also want that ube cake from red ribbon! ohh wait.. im on a diet.. sheesh...

606... 608... where's 607?

2007-09-25T02:08:00.000-05:00

it's been months since we've graduated in highschool and as far as I can see, most of us survived college, oh, i forgot, only THEY. I haven't heard news about some of my batchmates. What's the problem? busy schedule? or simply losin touch? some of them doesn't want connection with me and the others? that it? if that's what they want then be it. im not givin any damn to those who give me shits. :D

I dunno with the others but me and my senioritas are so damn missing highschool. some of them says they miss highschool because the lessons compared to college are like honey given to a baby, some miss the thought that their friends are just one snap away and some just miss everything.

who would never miss the monotonous schedule that they'll never have in college? who would never miss the days where they could cheat easily on exams, seatworks, assignments name it, we cheat on it,(name one student who doesnt! i'll hail him/her for being a saint) who would never miss sir peter's plus points? ms. vidal and ms. vangie's quotable quotes? who would never miss ms. anne's nose bleeding vocabulary? and lastly, who would never miss the ups and downs that atheneum had given us?

honestly, i have no hard feelings on those who doesn't want to see me or the others. its ok with me if they dont want connection with the people to whom they've shared half of their life with. but one thing's for sure, i sooooo miss highschool. :D

yea, some who doesn't know us might say that i am a drama king saying things about my batch out of the blue... just an overview about my batch...

we are like bohemians who must be painting in paris but the airplane left us in new zealand mooing with the cows and eating grass with the sheeps. we dont excel academically but im sure we have our artistic juices working. unfortunately, our school is lacking programs regarding art, that's why we ended up stuck not shining with our pens and papers, instead of being a celebrity with our dancing shoes and crayons. i believe that lacking programs about our talents is also a factor why we bacame renegades of our own school, we dont fit in our classroom scene, we NEED space where we could express ourselves. but the school centered with the academics... mediocrity ate us...

anyway, off with the drama. i'll be the first 607-er leaving the country... i hope they'll stay connected with each other, even just with their cliques. :D